The Night I Did Not Pray and How It Changed My Life Forever

11/4/11

I look at life as a journey in which each person has a specific purpose that they fulfill in this world.  This purpose is driven by God and it comes forth in ways that you may miss.  In February 2003 a process unknowingly began in my life.  A process that I would not recognize until after the process had claimed its initial trends.  At the time of this beginning I did not realize to what extent my life would change and to what extent this change would bring upon my life.  A scenario that only God will be able to explain to me when He believes it is time for me to understand the necessary details of this process. 

This process comes only from God and it brings out emotions within me that is hard to contemplate, even though they are inside me.  How do you explain a situation that you know will happen but you have no clue what it is or when it will take place, but because my inner man is stirred.  The process is a burden to pray for something, some place, some situation, somebody, but no details are given, you do not know when, what, or who will be involved; you just know.

It really is not fair for me to be writing about this subject now since I know more about the process than at the time it all began.   But it is a part of my life that I need to write about and place in the open for others to read and know a little more details about my life.

The evening in early February was a typical cold night.  For some reason I could not sleep well.  I kept tossing and turning and really, in general, could not get into a comfortable position.  The bed was fine, nothing unusual going on between Bonnie and I and the hospital was in good shape.  We had plenty of wood for the remaining cold nights and a good vehicle to transport our kids around and we had begun to think about the garden and what we were going to plant.  All seemed normal.

I was lost that evening in wondering why this night was different.  Of course I have had nights where I could not sleep, all of us have experienced this sometime in our lives.  But this night was different in the fact that I felt different inside and yet I really cannot define it.  The reason I could not define it was because I really did not understand what was going on and the change that was occurring.  To be honest, God was keeping me awake and I did not recognize His voice and urging.

After a few hours of getting up and down, going back and forth to my office and waking Bear up, I finally was able to get some relief and doze off to sleep.  I woke up another time to go to the bathroom but went right back to sleep without any problems.  I woke up the next morning and it seemed like all was ok and that I just could not sleep.  I did not feel any different nor was I worried about my lack of sleep.  I tossed it off as a bad sleep night and continued on my normal ways.

I had to go to town for an errand that next morning, I cannot remember exactly what it was for but it since it was cold I had to warm up the van’s engine.  I started the van and came back inside to wait a few minutes, all seemed normal.  After the short wait I hopped into the van and drove away.  I ran my errand and was on the way back to the house when the radio announced the tragedy of the space shuttle Columbia.  I was stunned by this message and since 9/11 was not too far in the distant past I immediately believed that it had been blown up by another attack. 

As the news continued I quickly realized that this incident was not a terrorist attack but a terrible accident that had happened when Columbia was re-entering the earth’s atmosphere.  Details of where it had broken up were coming out and it was now obvious to me that no one would have survived this accident.  At this time a sudden chill went down my back as for some reason a thought was placed into my mind.

This thought was now I understand why I could not sleep last night.  I was being warned about this incident and I had totally missed it.  It was God who was not allowing me to sleep and it was Him wanting me to pray.  I had no clue what was going on at the time and I had no reason to believe that God was trying to get something through my head.  I was totally off when it came to what God wanted from me and this was an eye-opening experience that had just transpired.

If you know me, it takes an illness or very cold temperatures for me to be cold.  I absolutely love the cold weather and my body actually feels better when it is cold.  But the cold chill that went down my spine when I had realized what I had missed is almost indescribable.  It struck me to the core and I became numb for a moment.  I actually said “I just missed God” while I was driving.

I pulled up in the driveway and sat there for a few seconds catching up on the last words of the news bulletin.  I turned off the van and opened the door.  I got out and started to close the door when I heard the back door of the house open.  I closed the van door and walked around to the front of the van.  Bonnie had come out the door and was standing at the screen.  I opened the gate of the yard and while I was closing it told her this “the next time I cannot sleep, please tell me to pray”.

I will never forget the look on Bonnie’s face when I made that statement to her.  She had no idea of what had happened and here I am making a statement like that, in her eyes, for no reason.  I briefly explained to her what had occurred and then began to tell her what God had showed me on the way home.  It was hard to explain to her how this experience happened, but I did my best.

Now the fun began…while I was explain things, or trying to explain things to Bonnie, I realized how dumb I was for not recognizing God’s tugging.  I had been taught for so many years that God wanted a personal relationship with me, how much He loves me, how that He has a plan for my life.  I also knew that when God spoke to people it was in the normal ways that you think or it was in a way that would not be in the way that you expected.  God had spoken to me in His own way and I missed it.  At this time I felt so dumb.  How could I have missed this, I actually thought I knew how to listen for God’s voice.

Then my mind took over.  Why didn’t God come to me in another way or continue to press me to get up.  Questions began to flood my thoughts and I had no answers for them.  The question was raised in my head, the ever popular what if question.  What if I had prayed, would anything have been different, even so that the astronauts might have survived somehow.  What if…what if… these questions pounded my brains for a few moments and I began to feel terrible once again.

I then realized that what God was allowing to happen actually had nothing to do with me.  The event was going to happen no matter what I did and He had everything under His control.  I do not know why this process involved me praying and what it would do if did or didn’t pray.  I do know that for whatever reason Kingdom principals are in play here and God has asked me to provide a service that allows Kingdom to be advanced.

It is still difficult for my finite mind to understand the Kingdom process and activities but I am learning more and more as days go by.  I do know that Kingdom warfare, or spiritual warfare, is a very high stakes war that is begin constantly played out in a realm that we cannot see but involves the human in some manner.  And ironically God chooses other people to help this war along so that His Kingdom is advanced.  THAT is the part I do not understand or comprehend about this entire process.  It was said long ago about me by a man named Loren Fox, that I would be greatly used in God’s Kingdom, I guess now God is beginning to reveal His plan for His Kingdom through me.

So, I continue to do my best to hear what God is saying to me and to continue to pray when I am needed.  I still do not understand why God picks me to pray for certain things and not on a continual basis, I guess has to be that I am human and I do need my rest or peace of mind as well.  All I want is to know God and His ways and means; to serve Him diligently and with an open heart and mind so that I do not miss hearing Him again.  Will I repeat the missing Him process, probably so in some way but I only can attribute that to my humanness.

God changed my heart that night in a unique way all by missing His voice to pray.  When He wakes me, I shall pray.  Why and what for are not my concerns at that moment but I know sometime down my road it will be revealed to me.  In all things God has a purpose and in all things God’s Kingdom demands to be pushed forward and all I desire is to do my part.  I know that God has chosen me for this path because He knows me like no other.  I know that God is in control of my life and in control of all things that I can see and cannot see.  I now know that as these events come to pass it is my responsibility to learn from them and to write about them so that others may also know.

P.S.  God decided to change my heart a bit more 8 months later..

Follow The Farmer

Follow the Farmer

10/26/11

When I was a young kid I remember travelling to Colorado to my grand-parents house.  They lived in the four corners area of the state, in which the majority of the area is comprised of old Indian ruins and farm land.  We did not get to go out very often due to the distance between our households, but it was always a fun time when the opportunity came along.  I would often sit and listen to my mother tell stories of life on the farm when she was young and how much work that everyone did each day just to survive.  These stories along with the ones I made up in my head gave me a desire to participate in the harvest.  Being able to go out on the tractor with Yanyad was always a highlight for me, and little did I know that even while I was just a boy that God would use this experience in my life for a future purpose.

Even though I did not express this desire much and the fact that I lived in the city, my heart and mind would often think about how it would be to be a farmer.  On some of our trips I would go out with Yanyad for a while and ride along in the tractor or combine and get a first-hand look at the harvesting process.  I never got the opportunity to go out with him while bean harvest was occurring but the wheat harvest was a sight to see.  Each time I would go out I would look over the vast fields and ask him over and over, how much are we going to get done today?  Yanyad would always look at me and answer "as much as we can" and then return to the driving of the combine.  At the time it really did not matter to me how the process worked or of the technicalities of the machines all I cared to see was the end product; to see the wheat coming out of the storage bin in the back of the combine to the waiting truck.  I also knew that it would be a long day before we left the field and return for supper.

Looking back now at that process, I realize that Yanyad knew exactly how much territory was going to be covered in that day.  All of the preparations had been taken care of and every little detail, even the weather had been thought out.  He knew exactly where to park that truck so that it would be in the most convenient place to empty the wheat and then start back up once again with minimal time lost.  He even carried certain tools just in case something went wrong with the truck or the combine, the farmer knew his land, he knew his objectives, and he executed them perfectly.

I also remember that on some visits it was not harvest season but Yanyad would always check the fields on a daily basis.  I remember that I would walk in the midst of the wheat, which was about as tall as I was, and just looking at the yellow and brown colors that changed as the wind moved through the field.  I also remember walking through the bean fields that were filled with green plants.  It was funny, that in both of these fields while I was playing and running around, Yanyad was actually taking a survey and calculating in his head for the prime opportunity to begin the harvest.

At the time I did not realize how beautiful the variations of the fields were, with the different colors that each field had and that when you looked at them from a different angle, the entire field colors changed.  Even the different colors told him something about the progress of each type of plant which allowed him to further gain knowledge of the plants.  The rolling of the hills would produce a vivid color that he would understand how the growth process was coming along, it also told him if there were problems with the crops.  His eyes could watch over acres of land at a time and all current knowledge of the crops was gathered in an instant.

The farmer knows what he has planted and he knows just how much cultivation is needed to yield the full potential of the plant.  He also understands that even though the soil or foundation that the plant is sowed into may not be the best, an expected result from that seed is expected.  He does all he can to provide for the crop so that it will thrive even in times of distress.  He will do everything in his power to protect the crop when danger approaches.  The farmer has so much at stake in the soil, seeds, and plants that he has no option but to protect all aspects with his life. 

The unexpected situations that may appear the farmer must be ready as well.  Storms or destructive predators might appear and the farmer must act with authority to protect his crops.

The farmer has all bases covered before planting, during planting and while the plant is growing and even right up until the decision is made for harvest to begin.  The farmer is in complete control of his crops at all times.  It is not because he has to protect the plants it is because he wants to protect his investment and so that the plants may mature to their fullest and produce the best rewards to others.  Decisions that a farmer has to make sometimes, might not be popular and not understood, but he knows what is best for his land and he must do what is necessary.

Each farmer has a certain pride of his finished product when it is harvested.  The few times that I had the privilege of riding in that truck to take the wheat to the grain silo, Yanyad was proud of his harvest.  Yes, he always thought it could be better but he always accepted the finished product as his own.

Kingdom you say?  Well, the farmer always knows and understands the condition of his crops at all times, even when it is two o’clock in the morning and he is not physically surveying the land.  He understands that both the light and the darkness are needed for the plants to grow properly and that both growing conditions produce strong and viable plants that will bring forth ripe fruit.  God is the farmer and he knows each stage of the plant from the seed till the harvested crop.  It is our ears that are supposed to be listening to His voice so that we know when to harvest the plants. 

Remember that God has planted us in a certain field for a specific reason.  We do represent His craftsmanship even though we look similar when we stand in crowds or places where many people are located, but each one of us is an individual as they come; even down to the hairs on our heads.  Only God knows when to give us protection, give us instruction or to leave us alone to learn a lesson.  In all of these conditions God is in control of our lives and He never leaves us.  Just as Yanyad had to sleep for a bit or left the field for a chore, he never once forgot about his crop; and neither will God.  God continually thinks about us and even though it may seem that He is not near you can be certain that He is right there with us watching us grow.

Even though there are a vast number of us in the world, know that God has a specific plan for each one of us.  Our growth process may be long and sometimes painful but this process enables us to endure future trials and situations that will occur in our lives.  God loves us and wants us to listen to His instructions and then to follow Him.  When we do follow Him our lives will be fulfilled beyond belief and we can actually be a part of pushing the Kingdom of God forward.

A Mother's Promise

A Mother’s Promise

11/09/11

Humans have a peculiar fact about themselves that other humans find fascinating to learn about; and that is the varying types of promises that they make to themselves.  It does not matter what kind of promise is made, the promise just serves the human heart as a hope for something in the future.  Promises are usually made when some event, pleasant or unpleasant graces our lives in a time when things may not be going our way and provides us the proverbial rock to stand upon.

When humans listen to God and understand His ways it separates us from the world in a way that is sometimes difficult to explain.  These ways contact our lives in such a manner that give us direction that often goes against normal or typical knowledge.  We have said many times in our lives that we believed that we have heard God’s voice and heard His directions for our lives.  Some of us have heard His promises to us.  All of these events are true and they have special meanings in our lives.  But as time rolls along our faith and hope in these promises from God wane and our beliefs in these promises are placed into the back of our minds.

How many times have we believed that God has said that his blessings would be upon us just to have circumstances occur that would make us believe that there would be no way that God could keep these promises.  We have read many passages of scripture, watched hundreds of movies, listened to thousands of personal stories which all told of miracles that have graced people’s lives, but while participating in these events we wonder when our promises would come true.

It is human nature to be patient for a short time and then become restless when our needs have not been met.  It is human nature to get angry when our timing is not met with things that we believe should happen.  It is human nature to question our foundations when that very foundation is being shaken by means that we do not understand.

Know that God has heard your prayers and knows the desires of your heart.  He has an answer for you and is willing to share it with you.  As a spirit, God communicates through spirit, He also communicates through the most unlikely people as well.  There are many ways that God can do to give you your answer and your promises.

My mother had a desire, and believed that God had spoken to her and promised her two sons.  What a great blessing from God to know that He has given such a great and confident statement to a person.  What a wonderful feeling that she must have had about this confirmation.  How her mind must have dreamt about what they would be like, how tall, how bold yet meek, what kind of leaders they would make, what kind of sports would they play, who they would marry, how to discipline them with love or what they would do for God’s kingdom, and many more ideas and hopes for them. 

Hopes came to life when she learned that she was pregnant and how exciting and nervous she was to tell her husband the news.  The plans that were going to be made, the new additions to the house or apartment would come in time and it seemed that everything was lining up as promised.

Calls were made to close friends and family and letters written to others of the blessed event.  Anticipation of the baby’s first kick in the belly, dad’s hand feeling the movements and talking to the baby through mom’s tummy were all being dreamed about.

Very soon tragedy struck and my parents lost their first child.  Follow this by a series of miscarriages and hope must have been dimmed quite a bit.  But along came another pregnancy and this one was different.  Hew hope began to persist and it was looking more and more like a child would soon grace my parents lives.  A short time later a baby boy!!!  A bouncing HUGE baby boy was born, and boy did he ever make an entrance.  Being in the medical field we have some sayings that just sum things up and one of these sayings is attributed to the OB side of things.  This saying and it applies to this case, is that my brother ripped mom a new one…literally.  It was a tough birth and many life saving techniques were done to ensure that mom was going to be around to see her son grow up; as if he wasn’t big enough when he came into the world J

With the birth of my brother came the reality of the birth.  It was said that with all of the complications at birth that it would not be advisable for mom to have another child.  The risks would be too great and it would not be guaranteed that if she became pregnant again that she would be able to carry the baby to term much less give birth again.  What a down-turn this must have been for my parents to hear.  And what faith they must have had in God to keep His promises.

So, as Sarah did in the Bible mom and dad tried to do it their way, which resulted in more disappointments and heartbreaks.  I know that doubts had to have risen into their hearts since God had clearly spoken this promise.  Adoption must have been talked about, but nothing ever came of the process.  Wonderings and wanderings in my mother’s mind must have been present as she saw new babies being brought into the church and local community; still asking God…where?

Then came the stork, at night even and out of the blue.  A gracious woman who had made a choice nine months ago decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and give up her child so that God’s promise could be fulfilled.  The woman had no idea of what was actually transpiring in my parents’ lives and what the events actually proved.  An event around the week of Holy Week 1967 was enacted that would fulfill God’s promise to my mother, an event that my mother had no idea that was happening but reaped the benefit during the end of harvest season.  Don’t get me wrong…dad and bud were there too…just at the grocery store buying baby necessities.

See, God has plans working in people’s lives that we do not have a clue about.  If you believe that God has given you a word, or a promise then believe on it and always hold on to what He has said. It may not always work out like this story has but it will in God’s way and timing.  Even the things that you consider to be mistakes can prove to be a blessing to others in some form or fashion.  Your life has purpose and has a meaning and it is our responsibility to show this to others in our world.

It is written that God will provide for us the desires of our heart.  He did not say that He would give us our wants but our needs.  The needs in our lives are things that we will use for our families for a cause or a specific purpose.  Needs are things that will call out to others that are in need of rescue or help mankind.  Needs are things from the heart and not entirely based upon emotions or whimsical ideas.  A need serves as a function for something or someone…in need.

I love you mom and thank you for listening J

Latin Class

The first of my messages

Latin Class

8/13/11

This portion began in 1985 while I was in Nederland, Texas about to end my junior year at Nederland High School.  It was time to select my classes for my senior year and register as a senior.  This process was completed at home and at the counselor’s office.  All parties involved had to be in agreement with the classes before any else could advance. 

While at home, my parents and I sat down and discussed what I would be taking next year.  Since Nederland High School was considered an academic school, most of the seniors would be taking academic classes instead of the underwater basket weaving courses typically chosen by seniors.  This would prove to be for me as well.  All three of us agreed on my schedule with the exception of one class.

This one class was a battle, for both sides.  I wanted to take German as an elective.  Nederland was one of the few high schools in the area that offered this course and I wanted to be a part of it.  Mrs. Nau was an excellent teacher and musician; she was the school’s choir teacher up to about three years ago.  Mom wanted me to take Latin, stating that it would help my English grade and better my understanding of the English language.  Mrs. Anderson was an older teacher but was just as good as any other teacher at Nederland. 

I could not understand why mom would want me to take Latin. Latin is a considered to be a dead language and really did not have any place in my future.  Mom continued to insist that I take Latin but stuck to the one reason as to why I should take it.  I continued my argument about taking German stating how it would be different than the normal French and Spanish courses. The “argument” continued for another few days and then it was time to make a decision.

When decision time came, I chose the Latin course over the German course and such began my trek in Latin.  To be short…I absolutely hated the course.  Mrs. Anderson did a wonderful job teaching the class, she explained everything wonderfully to our class, treated us fairly in grading, etc.  Darin was still not happy but I was in there for an entire year and accepted the fact that there was no escaping the course.

My Latin grades were fair and my English grades…well, it dropped.  Mom was so sure that it would rise.  True, I did learn many things about root words and their origins. True, I understood some historical culture, not only the civilization portions but also how words and phrases were created and used.  This did not matter to me at the time, I continued to be not happy, but stayed the course.

Present Day:

For the past few years God has been re-arranging my life in a slow but steady manner.  Some of the things that He has been showing me have blown me out of the water.  These life changing thoughts include many things that include Church, Church history and even personal relationships, including restoration.  Church history has been one of the more central study topics that I have been engaged in during this time period.  Restoration has been the main theme for me lately but this came as a complete surprise and actually shock to me, it even caused me to make an apology to my mother.  Up until now I had no reason to tie the two subjects together, but with the further realization of my process…these are intertwined more than I knew.

When God shows me things, it is never glamorous, loud, elaborate or flashing.  It is always short, clear and simple.  This time was no exception.  Remember…God has a sense of humor in things, it is very important that humans keep this in mind.  God likes to show us things when we are least expectant of things.

I was in the bathroom when this occurred.  I was reading an article on the Kingdom of Galicia, which is an ancient kingdom located in the upper coastal region of Spain.  It was saying how the Catholic roots of the country began in the 400s and how the kings and lords all fought to contain the outside invaders from taking over the land and destroying the churches.  I read a certain sentence and it had a reference at its end.  I turned to the reference and it was in Latin, followed by the English translation.  It was here that things once again changed for me.  I cannot explain why the thought came to me at this time all I know is that it did.

I could have read this and understood it if I had paid more attention in Latin class!!!!

All of a sudden, the clear and simple thought of Church History came to my mind.  ALL of the ancient, medieval, early modern and most of the modern historical church documents were written in Latin.  I knew that this type of writing concerning the church had been present and had not thought about it on this level before now.  I have talked about the fact that Latin was the official language of the Church even watched miniseries and movies about the church and its past; never once thought about things in this manner.  I realized now, almost 26 yrs later, that if I would have put my heart into the Latin class my senior year, and kept up with the study of the Latin language, I could be further down the road.

I know it took me a long time to realize the calling God has placed on my life and that restoration is the main focus of this calling.  I also realize that God is still teaching me the concept of restoration, and that it is not time for me to share all of what He has shown me.  To me, this means that not everything that is going to happen…has not happened yet.  There is some more falling that has to take place in the world.  I guess I now have to find out why Church History is a part of my restoration process; it also confirms that I am on the right path in my studies.

This event has further taught me that God knows our lives even down to the last detail, even the details that we do not have a clue about at the present time.  No matter if the “present time” is 20 years in the past or 20 years in the future.  His plan for our lives is revealed in His own way, no matter what you are doing or where you are in the world.  The important thing to remember is, always be listening for His voice.  Accept His words and learn from what is being said or shown to you.  In my experience, it has always been a little bit more of the puzzle explained about my life and the plan that God has for me.  Write them down!! And keep them in an easy place for recalling or usage in the future.

Lastly, I had to apologize to my mother for arguing with her those years ago.  Yeah I know, and she knows, that it was my schedule and I could have continued the argument and eventually would have won.  But even though she did not know the specific future plans for my life, for some reason she wanted me to take that class.  My apology to her was sincere, just and deserved.  My apology to God is just as honest, just, and deserved.  Mom and I laughed about the incident and she even told me about a “God” situation concerning my brother.

This is the gist of the story, there are so many more specific ideas and thoughts that I can place into the message, but I stuck to the one topic.

Forgiving Hobbs

Forgiving Hobbs

11/3/11

Ok, this message is going to be a little tough for me to write and to follow.  Whew, got that out of the way.  The subject of Hobbs, New Mexico is a sore spot within in me and continues to divide my feelings on forgiveness and at the same time defines my need to act on God’s forgiveness and to set things right with a city.  Even though only a short time was spent there, many things occurred in my life that need to be spoken about, many people set free of the bonds that my unforgiveness has kept them in, and restoration to a city that even God said to shake the dust from our feet when we left that town.

I have always loved to take trips and especially loved the trips where airplanes were going to be involved.  As a typical boy my fascination with airplanes always accumulated with the mechanics and dynamics of taking off and landing of said airplane.  Even to this day, I am still amazed to see a plane complete these two events and I continue to love airplanes.

In the year 1984 my parents and I took a quick trip to Hobbs, New Mexico.  Hobbs is a small town located in the eastern portion of New Mexico, close to the Texas border.  The city did not have an airport large enough to fly in jets so Midland Odessa airport would have to do for our arrival.  We were met by a couple at the airport which at their first appearance, should have set off an alarm clock in my head.  A two hour jaunt from the airport to Hobbs was next in line with a stop at a local steak house in between before reaching our destination.  This is where the good times began to roll.

Being a kid in school I was mainly directed to the small talk of the conversations, which was fine to me since I had no true idea of the details of trying out for a church that were unfolding.  Yes I knew the motions that were to be played out and the conditions that were to be completed but in my mind I never got past the idea of meeting new girls at the place where I might be living for a period of my life.  There are many details of the Hobbs subject that I could write about and God probably will have me write about most of them someday but in this message forgiveness and restoration, my forgiveness and a city’s restoration, are going to be the topics at hand. 

I have commonly and proudly haled my time in Hobbs as “To Hell and Back”.  My parents have not corrected me on this title for you see they too had their time in hell while in Hobbs.  Never was a time in my parents ministry where repentance was preached almost every Sunday, neither was there a time where the people of the church did not like the leadership of my parents.  Include the fact that the church secretary would actually leave the building when dad would begin to pray each day.  Scandal after scandal rocked the church on a weekly basis; more and more information would come to light about these issues and it seemed that the people really did not care about what was happening.

Nor did I realize the seriousness that involved my life.  I was targeted right from the beginning and it was made very clear to my parents that I was a literal target and that I should not be left alone at anytime of the day or night.  Now, how does a boy who is a Sophomore in high school not have a life with his peers?  What is wrong with telling my parents that I am going to go down with my friends on a Friday evening and just hang out, I did not understand why they would tense up and get almost upset when I asked to do this simple activity.

One event that that occurred in my life while I was there still serves as a reminder of this time.  It was soccer season when I arrived in Hobbs, and just coming from a place where I had played soccer I saw this opportunity to shine.  I was considered a very good soccer player and had even led my school team to a district championship and a tournament final appearance.  I was confident of my position on the field and it was time for me to impress the girls…so I thought.

I totally ignored the spiritual battles that were constantly around me and continued my quest on the soccer field.  One afternoon during practice I was attempting a pass from the touchline to the center penalty area, a move that I had done many times before, and when I had turned to complete this pass I landed on my ankle in an awkward way, landed on the outside part of my foot with all of my weight coming down at the same time.  The results were shredded and torn ligaments in my left foot, my soccer days at Hobbs, High School were over.  To this day that ankle hurts when I try to overdo things or try to be young again.

Did God allow this to occur for a reason?  I truly believe so since it was a very short time afterwards that my parents realized that a gang had actually taken a contract out for my life.  Yes, there was a reward out for my head, someone actually wanted me dead.  That is when all of the “fun” in my life began.

I now could not go anywhere in the city without mom and / or dad following me.  There was only one time that I actually saw them following me, and they even got my brother involved.  Mom had asked me to go get some milk from the grocery store.  My brother and sister-in-law had come into town for a few days and were staying with us.  I drove to the store and being a typical boy, drove as slow as I could and tried to see who was around town.  After a short while, I made it to the store.  Pulled up to a parking spot and got out of the truck.  Began walking to the store and a car passed, it was dad and Bud.  I was not a very happy camper when I noticed them but they were there for a purpose.  As I made my way into the store I watched them circle the parking lot and then drive away.  When I got home, I was angry that I had to be followed and I quickly let them know about it.

At the time I believed that all of this activity around me was solely to keep me from having a normal life, and looking back on a spiritual level it was.  My parents knew exactly what they were doing when they went to my church softball games and “support” the church teams as they played; they were actually incognito watching a spiritual battle unfold.

I have never forgiven a city or place before but on the same hand I have never held a city or place so accountable for its actions while I was located in that place.  I know that many things can happen in a city that have no direct bearing on one person’s personal life but those events that do matter to that single person can be of great importance when the time arises.  Now I understand that a Kingdom battle was really being fought while we were in that city, not just on my behalf but my parents lives as well.  Satan was out to protect what was his and he was not about to give it up easily.  I also understand now, with my finite mind I might add, the importance of our lives while we were in that city and that God even placed an angel there to watch over the situation.  One of these days I would like to meet Kevin again and to thank him for obeying God.  To this day, every time I see a sign repairman, I wonder if it is Kevin or another angel protecting someone.

So to Hobbs, New Mexico I say to you with a humble heart, please forgive me for the anger that I have held in my heart against you.  I know that my time in your city was not a very pleasant experience for me and my family, but your experience changed my life while I was living within your confines and even though you did not accept me I still must ask for your forgiveness.  I trust that you will forgive me so that you too may heal the wounds that I have inflicted upon you as well. 

There was a reason that God told us to shake the dust from our feet when we left your walls and I shall never forget that reason, but I cannot continue to hide that experience of anger within my walls and to bind you with my unforgiveness.  It is not my place to hinder your existence in any way, shape or form.  So Hobbs, I release you and your spirit to God and I trust that you will continue your journey seeking peace and the love of God that you deserve.  I do not know if I will see your walls again, but I now know that in my heart I have forgiven you.  I hope that you understand your place in this world and the love the God has for your inhabitants.  Restore yourself in the name of God and I know that you will be blessed in all of the things that you will endure in the future.

P. S.  And Hobbs, please know that if your local Junior College baseball team ever reaches the JUCO Finals again, I will even root for them J

Shine That Light

Shine That Light

10/19/11

We have all heard the song “This Little Light of Mine” And we have all understood its meaning and the mission that it states.  We in the modern world also understand that electric light has brought new advances to our lives and has extended almost every aspect of life itself.  From personal experiences it is well known that light gives us knowledge of our surroundings that will help us finish what we are doing or help us find our way.  This is the traditional form of light that we as humans recognize.  But let us look at things from another point of view, the light that shines from us and how it affects others and helps them along their path.  Other people can benefit from the light that shines from our lives.  It may not be on a visual plane or something we will see immediately but in some way our light will provide the necessary means for others to recognize the true light source.

Light totally transforms our immediate surroundings and provides a guide for us when we are lost.  A question comes to my mind about movies.  Any of you ever watch a horror movie? while I have not watched many of them in my life I did notice a couple of things about their content.  The majority of the “horror” that occurs in the film happens at night or in the dark.  Or the victims are hiding in a dark place.  Even though there are day scenes in these movies, some type of physical surroundings of the characters is affected to the point where light has been diminished in some way.  These scenes are created for a reason and so why wouldn’t our enemy use this same tactic when frightening our lives?

Let us take the dark in two aspects.  First, things that go bump in the night.  When we are children most of us had problems going to sleep at some time, which when this happened our parents would look under the bed for monsters, turn on all the lights and open the closets, close all windows and secure the curtains, and whatever else it took to calm the nerves of their child.  This comfort that our parents or guardians provided gave us kids a sense of security that would allow us to relax and to fall asleep.  Why would our parents do this for us?  Because they already knew that no harmful thing was present for us to worry about but it was their pleasure to provide that extra security blanket for us kids. 

Secondly let us look at, and more importantly, what our light provides for others.  As you drive a car at night you rely on the headlights and taillights to guide you through the path that we are rolling down.  But our lights also allow others to see what is ahead of them or behind them as they approach us.  Just the same, the oncoming traffic’s lights provide us with a guide or warning of our surroundings.  So, what if a light is out, or a vital component of our lives is not performing up to its full potential?  Everyone’s safety is compromised.

Another short take on light is how we humans like to hide in the dark for protection.  This fact is one area of the human that fascinates me; how someone can use a frightful surrounding condition to seek shelter in time of need.  Now, when hurricanes or major storms approach, this situation is probably in the best of everyone’s interests, but just that concept alone serves as a double standard. 

Thomas Edison invented the light bulb; he did it for others to see things when the darkness overtakes the world.  Edison knew that the dark would come every day and that it would last for a certain period of time.  Edison had the idea that if something could shine through the darkness, then man could not be afraid to press forward during these times of disadvantage.

Last physical example for this message is a lighthouse.  This type of light serves strictly as a warning and to allow ships and planes to understand exactly where they are located and how close to danger they really are and in some situations to provide aide to rescuing parties. 

We as humans have an inner light that is born into our lives.  It is a device that is always on but we often forget that our light is shining to others.  This light operates as long as our lives are present on this earth.  This light is all knowing about our lives and it hides nothing.  It does not matter what direction you are facing, nor does it matter what time of the day it is, and then you also must remember that this inner light is no respecter of persons, even your friends can recognize this light.  Sounds like a powerful instrument huh.  God has placed this light into every person that draws breath and that light shines no matter what side of the proverbial fence you are on.

So, which direction is your light shining?  Is your light shining brightly and displaying a clear path for you, your family and others to see?  The light you share may one day provide another person’s light to burn brightly when it is needed or it provide a hindrance or delayed reaction in another’s eyes.  You never know the true effect you have on a person until times and circumstances become trials. 

Ok, let’s put this darkness and light into kingdom terms…I know you were waiting for this J. When our light shines into the darkness, the kingdom of Satan is exposed to everyone.  Darkness is not only experienced with the physical eyes, it also affects our spiritual eyes as well.  It is possible for our physical eyes to see clearly but our spiritual eyes to be blinded by the surrounding darkness.  Jesus’ light not only allows us to see things in the physical but also like a beacon allows our spiritual eyes to communicate the actions of Satan’s Kingdom to us.  Therefore, as we are aware of these acts our light automatically shines this information to others.  We may not totally understand everything that is transmitted through our light, but someone or some group will understand it and then in turn will also transmit that information to others.

Now, the opposite must be true if Jesus is not the light source of our inner light.  Remember, there are only two kingdoms that are represented in the spiritual world and if one light is not shining, then the other must be.  Let me put it another way, if our light is not shining for the advancement of God’s Kingdom, then it has no option but to shine for Satan’s Kingdom.

Jesus is a light, He is THE light and He serves as THE guide and THE warning.  If He is allowed to infiltrate our lives and compliment our light, then everyone around will notice the difference and will benefit from the true source of light.  His Kingdom will dominate every circumstance and will allow everyone within seeing distance to know that His kingdom is in control.  I can guarantee you that if people are allowed to see the truth about their immediate surroundings they will change their course, in some way, to avoid problems no matter how small they may pose.

It is of utmost importance to recognize the light that shines from us, so that we are not projecting the wrong light to the world.  What is your light bulb doing?  Is your light bulb dirty or clouded in any way?  For us to know the complete function of this light we must constantly allow God to examine our light and to show us His results.  If He finds a speck that is causing problems, then He will reveal it to us and it is our responsibility, along with His help, to remove that speck so that our light may correctly shine completely once again.

Jesus said that He is the light of the world, how is your bulb doing?

Separation of Church and State

Separation of Church and State

10/6/11

As everyone knows this concept has been greatly over exaggerated in the past few decades.  The arguments for this position vary and will probably continue for a long time to come.  The current position of the world is not the focus of what this message is going to be about.  This message will focus on this topic from another angle, actually the reverse side of the topic.  The statement of Separation of Church and State does need to occur, and before you get your feathers in an uproar, please read the message and then draw your conclusions.

First, let us take the State into consideration.  Every year the President addresses the nation in what is called The State of the Union Address.  Does everyone in the Union agree with this address?  Does everyone believe that the direction of the man in charge, at that time, knows exactly what he is doing?  Is guessing and hoping play a part in this address?  Each person in this country have our own opinions concerning this but one thing is clear, the person making the speech believes that what he saying is the truth.  The United States is not the only country to have their President or leader of that country make these types of addresses to their respective lands.  The majority of countries' leaders routinely address their subjects with similar issues, some fewer than others and the subjects differ, but in short these speeches do happen.

What exactly is the State?  It is the country, people, land, cities, farms, stadiums, businesses, etc of a certain area that live, work, and die together.  The overall function of this group is to operate their respective occupations and lives according to the law of the land.  In other words, everything that we humans know about life is our State.  If all of these physical actions are considered our State, then our beliefs, morals, and values must be included in this assessment.

We read every day that somewhere in the world man is destroying himself at an alarming rate.  The beliefs of man are becoming barbaric which allow many obscurities to infiltrate his thinking.  Mankind has no direct direction any longer, no fine line to guide him, no goals that need to be reached, and no limits on his actions that cannot be “controlled” without violating his rights.  This is the society that man has accepted and actually desires to live in every day and as long as man accepts these options to be true, he is sure to fall. 

So, when does this become a problem?  The answer is when the law of the land does not match up with the law of God.

Now let me address the Church side of things for a moment.  What is the state of the church?  We read in history that the church as we know it began around the time shortly after the death and resurrection of Christ.  So, in essence over 2000 years have transpired and the church is still living and breathing today; most would say that this is a good legacy and for the most part I would agree with them.  But when you look into church history you realize that the Church has also been involved in many controversies, disagreements, wars and even murders over the millennia.  The Church has a rich history of doing good things to the civilized world and staving off war after war and uniting countries with peace.  We also read that churches have been influential in decisions of Kings and Queens, both good decisions and bad decisions.  We still see this in action today.  How often do we get caught up in the affairs of the church and not realize exactly what the goals of the church are accomplishing?  Do we even know the history of the church that we attend?  Do we even understand its basic foundation and what that foundation commands us to do?

So, let me pose a question concerning things stated so far.  How much do both of these organizations have in common?  Stop and think for a moment and really ask yourself that question.  How many people in this country are below the poverty level and how many of these people actually like it there.  How many churches beg for their churchgoers for tithes on a routine basis?  How many countries go to war for what seems like minor details?  How many wars has the Church started on people who do not believe according to their standards?  How many governments have ignored the common person with everyday needs?  How many churches have turned away the pregnant teenager?

All of the above questions and thousands more like it occur on a daily basis in society.  Not just American society but in all societies in the world.  Now, do not get me wrong, it is not the responsibility of the church to provide all means for everyone in the world, but where there is a true need and the people actually need the help and are willing to help themselves and to improve their lives, this is where the church has actually become like society.  This is the area where the church has actually integrated itself with society and has donned the proverbial garments of society on themselves so much that you cannot recognize the difference between the two institutions.

Is this what Christ intended His church to be?  If you read history and specifically read ancient history you will understand that this concept was actually present in the beginning of the early church.  Rich aristocrats ran the churches and synagogues and looked down upon the average man.  Monasteries were created to establish professional clergy so that a separation from worldly teaching could be established so that the teachings of God could be taught effectively to all men.  Instead, a professional elitism was created and thus began a process of ignoring the common man's problems.  This tradition has been carried down for centuries and even continues to present itself in today’s church settings. 

We must remember that God only has us to rely on, relay information through, and to restore things to others.  Humans are a quirky little race that gets something into their heads and they run with it like it is running out of style.  Our curiosities abound our actions in a daily adventure that allows us to believe that we are actually doing good things.  And God uses this...looks at self...to communicate to others His message.  The State and Church are both used in these deeds and should be taken seriously when both are placed together.  Why does the Church have to embrace society?  It does not!!  The only thing it has to embrace is the people that are hurting, the people that have made mistakes in their lives and honestly need help, and to bring the mission of The Kingdom to light while doing so.

God loves His church and He loves everything that man has done to help each other in time of need.  The church needs to increase its outreach programs to help these people as much as they can.  Bring in new ideas to teach these people that some conduct is wrong and that even though they have done wrong God still loves them and that there is an alternative way of life.  Do not condemn them for their actions, give them acceptable responsibilities and more importantly teach them to go and to witness to others that might be in the same state.

Our children have been blatantly indoctrinated into these worldly concepts and the church has stood by and watched it happen.  The laws of society have been deliberately written to underscore the church and everything that it stands for; with no objection coming from the church.  Respect for adults and parents have been thrown out the window and labeled as free speech, and the church does not stand up for the moral obligations that the younger people have for the older generations.  The world has mentally overridden all moral thoughts from our children all while the church turns a blind eye, and in some instances has even participated in these activities. The church has allowed the world to religiously proclaim independence from all knowledge and existence of God while it sits and toils with its petty doctrinal hang-ups which take away from the direct command from Christ to preach to the entire world.

So, in light of this message you can clearly see, and the limited number of examples presented, that there are many areas within the church that act just like the State.  We all know that the common and current beliefs of this topic are spiritually driven, but if you want to know the deep dark truth of the matter, spirit IS the key to this issue.  And what a great failure it would be to know that the Church that Jesus established, died for and rose again to proclaim its legitimacy did not step up to the plate and fulfill its Kingdom obligation to mankind.

See the connection yet?  If you do, ask yourself about the separation of church and state. 

It is a must!!!  For the church to separate itself from society and act like a church that Christ would be proud of; a church that stands for the principles of God and competes for what is right and teaches its congregations to unite together in Christ and spread the Kingdom to all, not to a select few but to everyone.  Do this and I guarantee that all churches will flourish beyond their expectations.  Do this and I guarantee that the church will not be hurting for ministers, pastors, and priests.  Do this and I guarantee the world will change.  Do this and I guarantee this separation from State beliefs will establish new thinking and expose the evil that rules the current way of life.

Let us, as the church, voluntarily separate ourselves from the state.  Bring back the moral high ground and let us stand for what is morally correct; stop playing the political game of society and trying to be perfect in everyone else’s thoughts.  Christ paid too high of a price for His church to be silent on these issues and many more like them, Christ paid to high of a price for His church to sit back and punch their ticket to heaven and Christ paid too high of a price to see the innocent be robbed of their promise that is in Him.

DLB