How God Changes a Person

How God Changes a Person

12/8/11

Someone very close to me once said I will never go to that place.  Someone also told me that God has a sense of humor.  In both cases it has been revealed to me, and to this other person, that you don’t tell God what He can do or cannot do, because if you do then the above second statement will come true, guaranteed.  Writing has always been a thorn in my side and my handwriting skills went right along with it. 
 
Handwriting was never my strong subject during my early years in school.  I would follow all of the exercises and do all the work necessary but when it came time to actually write a paragraph without any guiding lines, my handwriting would just go to pot.  Plus my mind would immediately close itself off and the words would not even come forth for me to write.  Very short and simple sentences would appear on the worksheet and that would be the extent of my exercise.  I would receive a passing grade on this assignment along with a note from the teacher saying that I could do better and to work on my handwriting.
 
When it came time for me to graduate to cursive writing, the fun really began.  You can imagine what my handwriting skills became when it was time to write in cursive.  The majority of kids plunge forward before it is time because it is a new process and it looks more fun to complete.  For me it was a nightmare and I actually wanted to print my words!!  As before I could correctly perform the cursive writing exercises but when it came time to perform this task on my own, it was not pretty.  Many, many times I had to redo my work because the teacher did not approve of the quality of the handwriting.  My composition had improved but it did not help any since the teacher could not read it.
 
Not much improved over the coming years with my handwriting skills, I would continue to practice but not much would come about; however, my printing capabilities continued to improve and I did my best to write as much as I could in this style.  For the majority of my junior high school years was spent in Christian schools and the curriculum was a little bit more lenient with the handwriting issues so I continued “my printing practice” as much as possible.
 
Junior High came to an end and my High School years began a new challenge was set before me.  No printing was allowed and once again I became nervous but determined to buck the system when and if I had the opportunity.  Boy was I mistaken; high school teachers were not willing for me to budge on the handwriting issue so I was forced to improve my penmanship toot sweet.  Well, as you can imagine my attitude did not change so my handwriting skills did not change either.  My grades were ok in school and I was never in any category of failing but my teachers would all say that my handwriting needed improvement.  So, I believed that they had no clue about the subject and onward I went.
 
As high school progressed I realized that I was writing more and more papers as time went along.  In my junior year I was in Nederland, Texas and I absolutely hated my English teacher, in another way of putting it she was an excellent teacher.  She was tough and her policies built my vocabulary skills to the maximum but my handwriting did not impress her one bit.  I cannot tell you how many papers I had to re-write because of the same problem I had in my earlier school days.
 
My senior year came calling in which traditionally is a time for us American students to goof off and take it easy before entering into college.  Not this boy, I had goals and I needed to do everything I could to prepare for my future.  My senior English teacher had the audacity to tell me that I had the potential of being a good writer I laughed at her and said I hated to write.  This statement was proven correct when my senior research paper came due.  Of course the paper was due on a Monday morning so dad and I spent all afternoon on Sunday typing that thing at the church.  Thank you dad for doing it for me J
 
This pattern continued even in personal correspondences of mine.  I had a few pen pals that wrote to me but following in my previous footsteps I did not return their letters and so they eventually stopped writing.  They were nice about it and didn’t write ugly ending notes but just let it drop.  I liked receiving the letters but just hated to write back.  Sad to say but this pattern continued throughout my college years and my USAF years as well.  Not many more things I can say about this pattern so I will continue on to the next step in my writing life.
 
For years I have joked and made fun of my handwriting skills to other people.  I was open about how my handwriting stunk and how I always received an “N” in handwriting when I was in elementary school.  Well, now you will understand why the second statement in the opening paragraph has come true.  I had no idea that God was going to use me in a way that I thought was impossible.  This area of my life was not developed and technically to this day is not developed enough to be classified as a writer.  But my parents taught me to be a good little boy and do as I am told so all I can say is that God is in control of this process so I guess in this instance my opinion is not in the forefront.
 
Then for whatever reason I believed the savior of my handwriting issues appeared and it was called email.  However, I continued to fall in the category of not writing to people but at least when I was forced to write they could at least be able to read the message.  Today my handwriting still is a mess and my preferred style is printing.  Yes, I am thankful that God has allowed man to create such an instrument as the computer but somewhere in the back of my mind I still have the fear that He will want to physically write a message in pen or pencil.  When this occurs all of you will be the first to know lol.
 
God continues to surprise me with my topics since often He gives me multiple ones at the same time.  That is not an issue to me since the profession I work in has trained me to multitask on a continual basis.  What amazes me and scares me at the same time are the topics that He has chosen for me.  I know that some are to be completed now but the majority of them I place in my computer file folder and He tells me to wait for a while.  I cannot even attempt to explain that process but God has His ways and means and I am not going to question them.
 
Always keep in mind that God has a plan for your life, He may reveal this plan in your younger years or He can wait until you are in mid-life.  But always know that the plan that He has for you will fit to you like a glove on your hand when He does reveal it to you.  It may not even be something that you had ever dreamed it would be but I have found out that God knows you even better than you know yourself.  So don’t be like Moses and bring up excuses as to why you cannot do something, because God is and always be God.
 
My messages as I call them are not written in the conventional fashion, but are designed for the reader to believe that I am right in front of them and speaking to them.  Those of you who know me will almost immediately recognize this and will make comments accordingly.  For those of you who do not know how I speak, then please understand for right now this is how God wants me to write or at least up until now this has been the style.  I have no idea what God has planned for my writings, and I do not know what He wants me to write about, I am totally at His mercy in this process.  I do not know if my writing in this manner will continue all I know is I am begin a good little boy and doing what I am told.
 
How has this changed my life?  I enjoy writing now and I feel a release in my spirit when the message is completed.  I know exactly what has to be said and I know exactly when my words are complete.  I am not afraid of writing and I am not afraid of what God is showing me to write.  I do know that everything that He says to me lines up with His word and for some reason out there in the world, my message is meant for someone.  I know that some time down the writing road God will place a topic into my spirit that I will not be comfortable with and might be timid to complete but always know that God is speaking through me and is leading me to write these words.