Approaching the T

Approaching the “T”

9/13/12

No one will argue the fact that this country has been divided on some major issues throughout our history.  All of us can agree that some of these issues were unnecessary but the majority of them were justified and valuable to our way of life.  Many of us realize that not all of us will ever agree on all issues and that great debates and arguments will occur over some of these issues.  But one item has not ever been in question in our country’s history but today is threatened to be taken out which will alter the course of our country and shake it to the core and force us to follow a path in which we have not be accustomed to.  So great an issue this is that if we stay on the path that we are embarking upon, a change will occur that we will never be able to regain and this country as we know it will cease to operate in its true freedoms.

Many of us have read about the first Americans who reached our shores in the early 1600s and settled in a small colony in one of our present states.  We know from these accounts that their lives were hard and that many sacrifices were made to stay alive and for them to feed their families.  Their trials and hardships were constant and I am sure that many of them had doubts about their existence in the new land, in which some of them did return back to their native lands.  But the ones that stayed found nothing easy and everything that they worked for had been earned.  God was their common ground in which they focused their attention upon even though they had many questions for Him and seemed what little answers they had in return.  However, they did survive the trials and tribulations and kept God as the source of their hope of survival.

We like to believe that the American Revolution was a cut and dry situation where the sides chosen were very distinct and defined.  Many history stories and books have made it look this way but to be honest it really was not.  The movie “The Patriot” dealt with the issue of those who were for the revolution, those who were against it and supported the British and then those who did not care and did not want any fighting to occur for any reason.  Pretty consuming odds when you look at that situation since each side represented about one-third each of the population of the colonies.  So we can imagine that there were great debates and arguments that filled the pubs and town halls during the coming months before the war actually began.  Yet no matter what the issues were and what side the people followed their hearts still desired to be with God and to have God bless their decisions.

Eventually, the country was once again faced with severe odds that literally divided the country into two distinct halves.  The divisions became so hard and defined that the country split into two over certain issues and this division brought bloodshed between people of like families.  This time in our history was unique that it was a progression that actually brought our country into a conflict with ourselves in a way in which household fought household.  This event between brothers lasted for a long time and by wars’ end, the country was just as torn as it was from the beginning of the conflict.  The light of salvation for this time period was God and that no matter what side of the war you were on God was still represented in a way that kept the country unified when the fighting stopped.  Even though not everyone believed in God or shared the same views God was still the centerpiece that people in this country looked toward for guidance.

As time passed along other wars and conflicts drew our attention and all of us answered the call for help when needed.  Yes as with any conflict there were those who were totally against any cause for war and did not wish to participate in them.  After these times of conflict, reflection of the country’s involvement aroused both friend and foe within the talk of the people.  One stronghold still remained throughout these occasions was that the people respected God and the outcomes that man had on each other by these means, once again not everyone had the same opinions about God but He was accepted as a driving force to end the wars and to bring peace back into the world.

I could continue to give examples of how man has included God in their beliefs and even though conflicts have been fought throughout history God has always been on the side of the just and pure.  Not in every case has the “right” force won the battles and wars but God has been with the people as long as they have accepted His divine presence within their lives.  I remember in one of the World War II movies I like to watch where there was a scene where opposing generals were talking to their officers and both of them questioned whose side God was on.  But what is the end result that man wants from these conflicts and what is exactly in his heart when these conflicts begin?  This is usually the defining factor, the heart of the human.

For the past few years, we have seen an increase of verbal violence that we share amongst ourselves.  This tension has led to some pretty awful and tasteless situations that have been portrayed in the public light.  I have touched on this issue a time or two in the past restoration writings and I am not going to harbor on this issue too much but it does bring into light the progression of division once again presenting itself into our country.  It is a political season I know this but these instances have been ongoing for quite some time now and have been increasing in spitefulness with time.  This type of activity has grown and will continue to grow until things change within our hearts towards other people.  However, there is a difference that has been showing itself recently and this phenomenon to has been growing and it is the thought of acceptance as long as it is the acceptance that “I” believe in.

I usually do not watch any of the political conventions and this year was no exception.  I hear so many opinions and sides to the debates that by the time the election is over everyone will breathe a huge sigh of relief and then return to their appropriate stations and continue their lives once again.  However, there is something different about this season in the fact that choosing a side is becoming almost a mandatory issue and then you accept a label on your head with whichever side you choose.  These labels are of a personal measure and specific treatment is then placed upon the ones with labels.  This type of activity is being seen across the country and we are setting an example to the world in which they will probably follow.  When you look at this progression from the beginning of the year or even a couple of years ago and place it into category with today’s attitudes you will notice that the level of this activity has skyrocketed.  It does not matter which side of the aisle you inhabit, this is a fact and it is present and it influences us each day.

I mentioned this statement that I am about to make on my FB page a few days back and I said that I found it interesting that a hurricane occurred while the Republican National Convention was occurring and that a major earthquake struck when the Democratic National Convention was ongoing.  I found these natural events quite intriguing since both things man had no control over but God allowed to unfold in the midst of the big political meetings.  This struck me in a way that said that God is not really concerned about what man believes in because the things that man is now focused upon are things that deal with “ourselves” and not what God wants for humanity.

I am not being political in this message at all but it can be portrayed that way and if you do read into it that way, which is ok but take heed to the words which are spoken here and think about them before reacting.  The Republicans do have God in their foundation of beliefs yet ignore them or Him when the issues are being presented.  The items according to human standards are noble and just to the eye of man but are they based upon what God’s laws are and if so to what extent will they be accepted by the people.  Some on this side of the aisle do not believe that God should be a part of the political platform and have voiced their opinions about it but support what is begin presented to the people and will hope for the best.  Division is present within the party which will rear its head either in a victory or defeat with the election results.  This division will reign within its own party but will eventually filter out into the public.  I hope that these people realize that God does not care about the direction of self that these people are taking but only for them to include Him and accept His ways back into their forethoughts.

I find the division within the other side of the aisle, the Democrats, just as interesting.  Without mentioning details of their political thought it can be summed up with two major themes, sex and money which are the hot topics that the younger people of this country are interested with.  I also find it interesting that the original platform of the Convention did not include God or Jerusalem in it.  That was actually a true statement since the platform is about earthly goals God cannot be included.  This is a fact that most people will not agree with but it is true and to prove it let me say, look at all of the coverage and articles that have been written about this one issue at the convention.  This is ok with God as well for it brings in the free will of man issue again and how God has allowed us to have this in our lives and to make the judgments we believe obtainable.  But this issue has brought into light a division within this side of the aisle as well one that will filter out of the Convention after the election no matter if in victory or defeat.

Progression is the means by which man functions on things and in this case the divisions that are now being presented to the public are not new but one very important element has changed and that is the God factor.  Up until this point, we have had allowed God to have a presence in our philosophy and ways of thinking but that has changed in such a manner that God is not longer in our forethoughts.  Let me explain this in a way that it might be easier to understand, then again the way that I explain some things it could be more complicated J

We as a country have always been considered to be a leader for the world, some of us do not like that name placed upon us but it is the truth and we cannot really deny this fact.  Our leadership has shaped so many countries over the past decades and we will probably continue this trend for the near future so the example I am about to use is an accurate one and should be taken to heart.  The title of this blog message is “Approaching the T”.  Look at this letter for a moment and think about how many lines there are and in which direction those lines are “traveling”.

I am going to start with the ( | ) portion of the “T”.  This line represents the unity that this country has had with each other with the representation of God being placed in with our belief systems and in our hearts.  Now, this line depicts a straight line with no curves or bends in it which we all know that no matter what when you deal with humans there will be flaws in a straight line.  But the direction flows in the one direction and for the most part, everyone is in agreement with the direction that the line is moving.  Minor changes along the way will produce certain curves and bends in the line but are managed well in a society where most everyone agrees on a certain belief.  Plus, and ask any business person, moving forward is always the best policy of a company.  We all know in which direction the line “|” is moving when we are going to form the letter “T”.  It does not matter which way we draw that line, we will cross the “T” at the top of the “|” line which is considered to be the forward direction of that line.

Now let me address the other line on the letter “T” which represents the direction that we are approaching.  This line has been a common theme in our vocabulary for as long as I can remember.  I had no idea that it would become the focus of the change in direction that the modern world wishes to conform but it the option that the popular consensus is trying to force upon us.  The line that crosses the “|” line, represented here by the ( - ) line in this message, totally stops the directional flow of the “|” line which ends the forward movement that has been established as the norm.  If the “|” line could speak I wonder what response it would have to say, I know that is very farfetched but our mind should run with that one should we allow it.  The “-“ line represents directions on its own which have their own origin and directions.  This “-“ line is not limited to which direction it chooses but represents two equal directions on top of the “|” line.  It automatically terminates the vertical line and creates its own new path with new ways of patterns.  The “-“ line now has the opportunity to change the concept of what the vertical line had established or force the line to accept a new way of thinking and believing.  The “|” line is now considered obsolete and will be changed, which was the original thinking and reason for the change of the lines from the outset.

There is one more point of the letter “T” that I need to address and it is actually the place where the western societal beliefs are standing at the present moment.  It is actually at the junction of where the vertical line and the horizontal lines will intersect if they are allowed to continue their projected paths.  The directional stance of western societies has been to include God in most of their decisions or have at least kept His concepts in the works of the final plans.  This is now being questioned and challenged in such a manner that society is calling for a decision to be made on this matter, which represents the junction of the two lines.  It is not God’s decision to leave Himself into our personal affairs He has left that decision up to us to handle.  God would not be a true, loving and just God if He took these matters into His own hands.  Yet, He allows us to make these decisions on human grounds and then God will allow us to follow our set standards with a cheerful or grieving heart.  However, knowing humans and the ways that they operate those ways will soon break God’s heart and then He will be forced to bring us back into line, or in this case break the horizontal line and allow the vertical line to be re-established in our lives once again.

This turn is very evident in our society and it will soon overtake as the majority opinion of the country.  The Church has sat back and allowed this belief to grow within our society due to the lack of willingness to stand up for what it believes in.  The Church’s mission has been compromised by the influx of worldly beliefs and practices which has made her useless to the mission that she has been given.  Yes, I am blaming the church and its inactivity in its mission as a major contributor to our environment.  It does not matter which denomination I am referring to either, all of us are in the same boat and have participated in this non-action.

All of know that moving forward is the ultimate goal of any person, team, company or nation but sometimes you do have to stop and look around you and take a step backward to regain your footing so that you can continue in a forward direction.  I remember an old business commercial when I was in High School that went something like this.  The boss of a company called his people into his office and told them a story about one of their oldest clients and how that client fired them today because of the lack of service that the client believed they were receiving.  So the boss handed out airline tickets to everyone in the office and said that they were stopping and changing some of the tactics used and were becoming a bit more personable to their clients.  One of the people then asked where the owner was going and he promptly stated to visit an old client.  Even though it was not a step in the backward direction it was a step back to regain the ground that they had begun to lose.

This old commercial is a great example of the position that we are facing at this moment.  I am not saying that our country is ready to totally collapse or that we are even in the end times but what I am saying is that our country is taking a step towards that position by taking God out of all equations of our life and replacing Him with human desires and wants.  This decision will lead to disastrous results and will inch us closer to the end times.

What God is saying is that our human choices of living are all wrong and that we have turned our focus on earthly measures and human wants which now has left Him out of the equation.  God is perfectly ok with this decision based on the fact that He has no choice but to allow our wills to be utilized.  The free will that He has given to us is an awesome thing and it is wonderful to watch unfold in our lives.  However, God will reach a point where He must reel us back into reality when He realizes that we have reached a certain point.  God is a very tolerant God because He loves us and for no other reason, but He expects a great deal more from us and He will return us to that level by whatever means necessary.  But how far do we push God? And where are we exactly at in the timeline according to the Bible?  None of us really know our exact point so why take that chance?

We as a society are approaching this juncture in our lives where a major decision is about to be made.  It is one that will set the course for years to come maybe even our land as we know it.  I do know that if we take God out of our lives our country and the way of life that we have known will soon vanish, not by just what man does but what God will allow to occur in our lands.  Now is the time we need to change our hearts and return to God as the solution.  All of us are heading in an uncharted course if we do not return to God and it will include the church and all of the people that define it.  It has been said that God does not play favorites and we have many examples of this in the Bible and throughout human history.  We need to immediately recognize the position that we are in and make the correct and just decision for our welfare.  Keep God in our lives and in our beliefs and we will have a fighting chance.  Take Him out of these decisions and we are and will be returning to a desert to wander for many years.

DLB

Heart Condition Part XXIII

Heart Condition Part XXIII

9/9/12

In my adult life I had made it a habit of not occupying a hospital bed for certain comfort ability reasons.  Of all the complaints that I had heard throughout my medical career hospital food and hospital beds were the top two on the list.  My bed was not the best in the world but it would serve its purpose for one night and I would soon vacate the premise and not have to worry about sleeping on one for another long period of time.  The night aide came in after a few minutes and began her routine of vital sign taking which included the taking of my temperature.

I quietly made sure the color of the thermometer before placing it my mouth, being in the medical field for a long time you learn a few things before blindly participating in certain ital sign activities.  My temperature was fine and had stayed that way ever since my arrival.  As the thermometer came out I immediately turned my attention on my left shoulder which had basically stopped hurting now and I expected my blood pressure to continue its fall which I was not disappointed when the numbers appeared on the display.  I silently spoke to myself about how I was pleased with those results because I knew since they continued their downward trend that they probably would leave me alone and allow me to get some sleep.

With all of her assigned duties completed the aide packed up her supplies and placed the bedside chart on the end of my bed and then asked if I needed anything.  I replied “no” and then thanked her for asking.  I then turned my attention back to the television and to watch the last few minutes of the football game.  I had amazed myself with being so interested in a professional game, which I had not followed that league for many years but it was keeping me occupied I guess and that was a good thing.  The game eventually ended and I felt tired enough to try and get some sleep.

I moved the call light over to the table and took my glasses off and of course I took my oxygen cannula out of my nose since it was hurting me in the position that I was laying.  I took a quick deep breath and let it out slowly which reinforced my belief in that I did not need any oxygen since I was not short of breath at all.  I turned off the television and then assumed my sleeping position and my mind began to run through its final cycles of thoughts before I decided to relax and try to fall asleep.  However, I felt nature call me one more time so I slowly rose out of bed and made my way over to the bathroom.  Nothing really exciting occurred in the trip and I shortly returned to my bed.  I covered myself with the blanket and turned on my side to go to sleep.

I was close to dosing off when he nurse came in and checked on me one more time before I settled in for the night.  These visits from the nursing staff was another reason why I did not like being in the hospital since I know that once a nurse came in other hospital staff would soon follow wanting to complete their duties.  I know that these things had to be done and it was what was supposed to happen but they became annoying real fast yet there was nothing I could do about it but grin and bear it.  The nurse said good night and closed the door behind her after she walked out.  I turned back on my side and closed my eyes and quickly lost reality as my mind shut off for a few hours.

If someone came in during the hours of 2330 to 0230 in the morning I had no idea about it and to this day I still do not remember anything concerning that time period.  I was tired from all the events of the day and it had taken its toll on my body.  The nurse came in and said it was time for me to take my meds and to have a quick flush of my IV site before lab came in for my time draw.  Of course the night aide followed the nurse in with her equipment for a vital sign check.  All was ok and my IV site was still open and ready to be used if need be.  A few quick checks of my lungs and breathing patterns and they were done with their duties.  The nurse and I were chatting when the lab night tech walked in the door to draw my blood.  The nurse said I looked good but that I needed to get more rest after the tech left.

As the nurse was leaving she noticed that my nasal cannula was not in my nose but she did not say anything and walked out of the room.  I stuck my left arm out for the tech to draw my blood.  The tourniquet tightened around my arm, the alcohol rubbed against the area that my vein rested in and then a quick poke of the needle into my arm.  He was done in a few seconds and the tourniquet was loosened and a cotton ball placed on my arm.  I reached over to the site and held the cotton ball tight against my hole while he placed the blood into the tubes.  I did not have to ask what tests were ordered since I had completed those tests a thousand times during my career.  He and I exchanged a few words and greetings and shortly afterwards he was gone and I was left waiting for the results.

I knew that the waiting process would take a while since these tests were not completed immediately, they took some time and my fate would be announced within thirty minutes give or take a few.  I tried to go back to sleep but could not since I knew that my results would be delivered shortly so I laid there thinking about nothing for the most part.  Not at any time, especially at this point, did I think that my lab results would come back abnormal.  I had actually began thinking of when I would be able to return to work and contemplated that it would probably on Wednesday afternoon since it was already early Tuesday morning.  The minutes ticked by as I sat and waited for someone to come in and give me some results.  I had a quick thought that I could get up and go look on the computer for them but decided against it since technically I was supposed to be resting.  So, like every other patient in the hospital I waited patiently for my results.

After waiting a while my body had decided that it finally was tired enough to fall asleep, so I fell into one of those quick dozing modes and did not wake again until my nurse came into the room and quietly called my name but I was already awake by the time she approached my bed.  I noticed a needle in her hand so I naturally thought it was for my IV.  I stuck my right arm out and she looked at it and shook her head.  I knew then something was not right so I took the plunge and asked her if my CK and Troponin levels were elevated and she promptly nodded her head.  I knew then what that shot was for and that it had nothing to do with my IV but it was going in my stomach area.  Reality was setting in as I lifted up my gown and exposed my belly.  She cleaned a small area with an alcohol pad and then took the cap off the needle.  I laid my head back on the pillow as she inserted the small needle into my stomach and evacuated the contents of the syringe with the movement of the plunger.  It did not take but a few seconds for the Lovenox to get under my skin and to begin its work.

Lovenox is a type of blood thinner that is injected under the skin instead of being infused into the body through an IV.  It serves the same purpose as heparin which is the type of blood thinner that is infused through the IV bust is less dangerous with little complications or risk of internal bleeding.  This medication is given to all patients who have elevated cardiac markers to ensure that clots do not form within the heart muscle, which then could break off and form a larger clot in one of the vessels and cause more damage or even death to the patient. 

As the nurse took the needle out of my stomach area I moved my head down to look at her and then asked the big question of how elevated were my levels.  This would be the defining moment and the definitive one that would seal my fate of whether or not I had a heart attack.  The CK enzyme is not really specific to the heart muscle alone it can be elevated for many reasons in which the heart muscle is activated.  Runners and many other types of athletes have elevated CK levels due to the exertion that they do on a daily routine.  I was not a runner or an athlete but my hopes were pinned on a low number in any case.  The Troponin I have mentioned before and will not go into any further details but both of these numbers were now the most important numbers in my life and I was just seconds away from hearing them.

My nurse immediately returned my question with the CK being over 400 and my Troponin being 4.9.  I rolled my eyes back into my head now knowing that I had a heart attack and that I had bought myself a trip to Grand Junction to have further tests performed on my heart.  Almost as soon as she got through telling me what my levels were the aide came in with her vital sign instruments and began to run me through the gauntlet once again.  This time I did not say much just laid there and contemplated my fate with my condition and now focused on what was next.  Not many changes had come about in my vital signs since the news bomb was dropped in fact my blood pressure was better at that point than it had been all evening.  At some point my nurse left the room to answer a phone call which I assumed had to deal with me, but there was no way I could say that for sure and I really did not want to know either.

The aide finished her rounds and then asked if I needed anything and of course I said “no” and gave her a smile as she took hold of her vital sign tray and then headed towards the door.  I said “thanks” as she closed the door behind her.  I laid there for a few moments and just stared at the ceiling of the room and did not think of too much at that point.  A funny thing happened at this point, I realized that my oxygen cannula was not on my head and that I should really have it on so that my airflow would not be impeded any, which was something the entire nursing staff had wanted me to do all evening long.  Now that a serious condition had been confirmed inside my body I was willing to cooperate with this small task.  How foolish I was and ridiculous I had been I thought to myself as I located the cannula.

Denial is a huge part of our human life.  We deny so many things that we come into contact with that we do not even notice the majority of them.  Many times we deny God and the warning signs that He gives us.  Even though we continually ignore or dismiss these warning signs He allows us to plug along our life’s journey making our own decisions about how we should live our lives.  We come to the point that God must do something to grab our attention and to pull us to the side of the road and wake us up to realize our exact position.  Most of the time we then realize what is happening and actually stop and look around and make the necessary changes in our life.  Some of us fail to do this step and end up finding out the end consequences are not too great and afterwards there is not much that can be done to correct all of the damage that we have done to ourselves.

God allows us to complete certain steps within our lives before He has to step in and say enough is enough.  This path that we take can be a few days or as long as a few decades but whatever the length there comes a time when certain consequences of our path will catch up with us and God allows a large event to take place within us.  How many times have we read in the Bible about disastrous things that have occurred to a person or a group of people, but I can guarantee that the majority of us have not thought about the process that led up to that disastrous event.  I could have just told everyone what happened to me and left out all of the details of the processes that I took that led up to my heart attack, but I am writing this message to let you know that there is a process that we all follow to reach that great point in our life, and to also let you know that there is time to change your ways before God is forced to grab your attention in His fashion and not yours.  My advice is to read these notes and then make the decision to change your life, your inner life before God has to make that decision.

DLB

Circles

Circles

9/3/12

The circle is a simple symbol that is used to describe many aspects of shapes or designs that allow our eyes to see a connection of a single line that eventually forms its completion without any type of glitch or bumps within the pattern.  A circle is easily understood as a pattern which can come in many sizes but the end result is the same a connection with the beginning of the shape.  We find many circles within our lives that we cannot avoid but some of these circles can act as a harmful pattern in our lives that need to be broken.  It is our duty to understand these circles and to examine ourselves on a daily basis so that these circles can be broken.  It can be amazing of how a simple object can be so hard to define in our lives and then becomes rooted in our hearts as a part of a trap planted by our enemy.

All of us remember or kind of remember our first days in school at the Kindergarten level or at the preschool level.  At some point at this level we began to learn how to draw, to color, to finger paint and to make shapes.  One of the first shapes that we learned was the circle and how to continuously keep our pencil or crayon on the page and to make a simple round mark on the page.  We then began to make bigger circles on our page and then draw two or three of them on one page.  Eventually we learned that circles could be made with different colors of crayons or paints and to our fragile and learning minds we thought that we could spend the rest of our school years learning to draw the different sizes and colors of circles.

A circle is a simple shape with a starting point and an ending point which coincide at a specific point.  The circle can be as small or as large as needed but whatever the size the line eventually connects to the starting point of said circle.  As time worn on in school my math classes began to use circles as a symbol of problems and my concept of circles being a simple shape, in my mind, became a dirty lie.  But in all reality they are simple but the course that they took in the problem posed as a mathematical diversion in my mind and actually had nothing to do with the answer to the math question at hand.  It became harder for me to leave the circle alone and to solve the problem without involving the circle.  However, most of the time the presence of the circle bothered me because it was sitting there in the overall problem and not doing anything, or was it.  It actually played with my mind enough for me to be concerned about its “nonexistence” in the problem even though it was sitting there in the mix of the situation.

At the time that circles were becoming a nightmare for me I realized that I had only begun my quest in the knowledge of circles and that since I had turned my interests to the medical field that almost the entire bodily system is one big circle with intertwined smaller circles which in turn produce even smaller circles, all of which need to be functioning in order to keep us alive.  Boy was I disappointed in that revelation.J  But it made sense to me when I stopped and studied these circles and it became clear to me of just how important circles or in the case of the human body cycles were to the daily maintenance of our health.

One of my colleagues in the medical profession and I were talking one time and he admitted to me that when he was in medical school he had asked his professor about one of the cell respiration cycles and was it really that important for him to know this cycle and would he ever use it in his practice.  He told me that his professor just stared at him for a few moments and did not answer the question but stood there and shook his head at him.  As the class progressed the professor explained what occurs while the cycle is functioning and it dawned on my colleague that this process is the mechanism that allows us to intake air into our lungs and distribute it to our bodies, so no wonder the professor did not answer his question.

In my medical profession I have been able to witness many situations where patients have received various fluids and medications.  The patient presents themselves to the doctor with a specific or general complaint then the doctor begins the evaluation of the patient by examining them, poking and prodding their body and then begins the assumed treatment.  After a few test results come back the doctor can then treat the condition with more a more specific course of treatment.  This process is called a cycle or in non medical terms a circle.  We allow these fluids and medications into our lives as a method for us to feel better so that we may resume our normal life, a return to our normal pattern of behavior if you will. 

I am probably going to pick on some of my friends here but I have to make this point before I can move on to the next topic.  Some of the circles that we introduce into our lives are not good for us and I am choosing the circle of smoking as this example.  Most of us have heard of the phrase “chain smoker” or “smokes like a chimney.”  These are patterns or habits that we allow into our bodies that eventually do harm to ourselves.  This type of activity represents a cycle or circle that we have within us that our bodies have to respond to in order to clear out the insults that we voluntarily introduce.  This type of cycle is not good and will eventually lead to a shutdown of one or more organs within our bodies, which will in turn lead to further health issues down the road.  Even certain prescribed drugs or other substances can perform this same type of activity within our bodies, so we must be careful of what we allow into our systems since the consequences could be deadly.

Humans actually like to stay within the confines of circles whether they are good circles or bad ones.  We find security in these patterns and we do not like to see them change.  If this were not the case then it would be real easy for us to break a bad habit or adapt to moving with no concerns or change a job without even worrying about finding another one.  All of us unconsciously keep these patterns within ourselves or so we think but how do you think our parents and those who are close to us know what and when we are going to do, it is because we repeat ourselves or follow a certain pattern.

Let us get personal for a moment and talk about the decisions that we make being a cycle or a circle.  As humans how many times have we encountered a breakup of a relationship?  All of us have at one point in time and we are supposed to be smart enough to not make the same mistake twice, correct?  How many times over your life have you or one of your friends gone back to the same type of relationship even after you have vowed not to repeat the same situation again?  The majority of us have done this and then after it ends in heartache once again we beat ourselves up emotionally and continually ask ourselves why we did it again.  This is a pattern or a cycle that we as humans follow and it is hard not to fall into this trap.

Life itself represents a circle and this is one area that all of us have to face some time.  All of us are alive and all of us will die.  Even though we are alive millions of our cells within our body die each day and then are replaced by new ones just as fast.  As we age this regeneration process or circle becomes slower and the rate of growth tends to sluff off a bit, this is a normal condition and none of us really seem shaken by this reality.  But at some point this growth process by either means of an accident, genetics or certain diseases will almost cease and the death cycles of the cells take over and begin to show us the end of our days.  None us like to talk about this circle but it one that all of us cannot escape.

I am going to take this circle a step further and pinpoint it to the heart and spiritual aspect of things.  Our enemy knows that our physical capabilities allow us to basically record everything we hear, see and talk about or experience throughout our entire lives.  These experiences shape our patterns when we are older or even have so much of an effect on our lives that they form a pattern when we are young.  Curiosity is a major issue that we encounter on a daily basis and sometimes an hourly basis.  This is only one example but it is one that ‘opens” our hearts up to a world of circles or patterns which can influence us in the future.  Being curious is not wrong it is a must if we are trying to invent a new chemotherapy drug to cure colon cancer.  But this door can lead to many things that can be detrimental to our lives and spirit.

Once a thought has been formed in our hearts our enemy will use any and every possible angle to enhance this thought so that it will become a belief, then he knows that if we believe in something we as humans will then place it into our method of reasoning to further this circle.  The goal of our enemy is to corrupt our hearts enough so that these circles can become active and grow within our spirits enough to vacate the true values of our hearts.  Our enemy does not care anything about your heart he just wants to plant these lines within your heart so that the heart will naturally take hold of them and form their own circles.  Take a moment and think about some of the issues that you do not agree with and see how these lines could run in your heart and form a circle of belief and then think about where that circle would lead you to next.  Now you can see that these circles are actually a trap and it has captured your spirit.

Our enemy loves to exploit patterns in our lives and it is an effective method that he uses to advance his kingdom and we are so blind to this system that we ignore the fact that every day he places more lines into our minds which then tend to migrate to our hearts.  Our opinions form and then our beliefs follow shortly afterwards, kind of like DNA replicating within our bodies and we do not even know that this process occurs nor can we feel it.  His goal is to destroy us and to separate us from God as fast and as deep as possible and it does not matter by what means he takes to accomplish this goal. 

It is time for us to take a long and hard look at our hearts and to examine the circles that are located within our lives.  We cannot do this process alone we must have help to accomplish this task.  We have lost count of the amount of circles that we have within our hearts, they are so numerous that e cannot even begin to see our spirits all we can see is the replicating effects that they have within our spirits.  God is the only source we have to break these circles and to free us from the grip of our enemy.  It is time both as a nation and as a person to restore our hearts to purity and break these chains that are within our hearts.  These chains are a killer to our spirits and God is just aching to break them so that we may be free again.

DLB

The Burning of a City

The Burning of a City

9/2/12

This message is kind of a continuation of my previous message concerning wars and how they are being treated as a game by those who wish to belittle others with their words and phrases.  But this message will be a bit more on the direct side of things and will be focused on the personal levels even though some general terms will be used as examples.  This message is designed to inform us of how the enemy looks at our core and what he wishes to do to our inner being.  Do not be fooled for one minute that these examples are not presently being carried out or in the works in our lives, it is a serious threat and it needs to be taken heed of with eyes wide open.

In the closing months of the Civil War many signs began pointing to the eventual collapse of the Confederate way of life.  The Northern Army began its push into the south with swift and convincing attacks on some of the Confederate strongholds.  Even though the war seemed like it was nearing its end there still was many more days and weeks of fighting to come with many more acts of death to be portrayed.  The army did not stay around too much since they had a final objective and they had not reached the area of completion.  One of these marches involved a portion of the Northern Army racing into Georgia which meant coming from the north they had to travel a great distance.  The commander of this army had specific instructions and his objective given to him was clear, but he was given a choice in some of the more specific decisions that he and his army would face and that would be to what extent of destruction was going to be leveled upon the territory in his path.  This choice that was given to him was given to him by the overall commander in the North and to his utmost this army commander was going to make his point known to the South that the North meant business. 

As this advancing army approached towns and communities the men began to make their wrath known to the inhabitants of these places.  Many houses, barns, businesses and other permanent places were burned to the ground.  Many animals and other work animals were systematically destroyed as the army quickly passed through these places.  One of the instructions that this commander gave to the troops was to take no prisoners no matter what they offered in return for protection.  The commander also gave orders to not allow any residents follow the soldiers as they left their places of residence and if they did follow the troops then to make sure that they stood far behind and had no contact with the soldiers.  The reasoning was that this army was on a time schedule and they had no time to be slowed down by people or any other objects that would delay their advance.  The liberating army was now being seen as an invasion force that had one thing on their mind and that was punishment for those who chose to not view their ideas as the truth and that these people now deserved to feel the full wrath of their conquering opponents. 

An unusual twist in this scene is that when this army approached known areas where slaves were living, the soldiers would read the document to the people in the community or area and then would post the Emancipation Proclamation onto some type of fixed building or in some cases a tree.  After informing the people of their freedom the soldiers would then continue their march to another community along their path to their objective.  The people who could understand the written language quickly read the document and began to spread the word that they were free.  Excitement ran through the communities and villages but they quickly realized that the soldiers who brought the news to them about their freedom did not stay around to help them out in any way.  And when the people tried to follow the soldiers the soldiers followed their orders in keeping them away, so even though they were free they had no protection or any means of supplying for their families any longer.

As the army advanced further south a major city was lying on the horizon.  Many of the soldiers, who had not been told of their final objective, speculated that this major city was their reason for marching through all of the littler communities without stopping.  The city of Atlanta was now within their sights and it was the commander’s decision of when to attack.  When the attack orders were given the soldiers continued their march towards the city and broke the siege upon the city by advancing into the city.  It became very clear as soon as the guns of the army were within range that the commander was not going to have any mercy upon any structure or any person that resided inside Atlanta.  The commander gave specific instructions for nothing to be left standing of the city and no life should be able to prosper in the city again.

As the last soldier left the city of Atlanta the orders of the commander had been executed to its utmost, nothing was left of Atlanta and it would be a long time before anyone or anything would show life in that city again.  The soldiers of the army could not believe that they were leaving the area.  They had marched for weeks and had destroyed one of the crown cities of the Confederacy but realized that this was not their final objective.  The soldiers continued their drive further south and a few weeks later arrived at their final destination which was Savannah a city on the Atlantic coast.  The mission had been completed and with the path that they took virtually split the Confederate lands in two which totally rendered the Confederate supply lines invalid for any further usage.  The objective was clear in the mind of the commander and he obtained his orders to the best of his ability.  He did not have anything to announce his arrival nor did he had any bells and whistles after he left the area, he only did what he had to do and then left the people to fend for themselves.

The second example I am going to use for this message is set during World War II in one of the great talking points of the war.  This example occurred at the closing of this great war and is considered one of the sore areas of the war with some claiming the necessity of the action at all.  In either of these cases these points are null and void since at the time they were deemed necessary and there is nothing that we as humans can do now to turn back the clock to change the outcomes; however, we can take heed of these examples and notice that even though I am talking about cities in this message the same concepts are being played out  for your spiritual life and your heart and once these areas of your life are compromised they are easy targets for something like these examples to occur. 

Dresden in 1945 had seen its fair share of the war up to this point.  The city had been targeted in bombing runs before and the people of the city knew they would be targeted once again since their war effort factories were still standing.  It was just a matter of time before the attacks would begin but for whatever reasons the inhabitants of this great city did not leave but entrenched themselves into their domains and continued to live out their daily lives.

The battles of World War II continued to begin and end while this major operation was being planned.  Both sides of the war were trying their best to defend and attack to preserve the precious ground that they held yet one side stood taller and mightier and was continually on the move forward.  The advancing armies had their specific objectives which they drove as fast and as hard to as they could and when they reached their daily objectives they would wait for further orders.  It is well known that a foot soldier can only cover a certain amount of ground in a day and to soften up the areas ahead of the battle field artillery can be used to ease the “road” a bit.  However, the war effort for the enemy still could be hundreds or even thousands of miles away and the only way in the 1940s to reach this production line was by plane.  Bombers were not the sophisticated ones like we have today where one bomb can be delivered to a certain spot on the map with a guarantee of its target being hit.  The bombers of World War II had the new technological equipment to help them guide the bombs to their targets but many bombs had to be dropped to reach the maximum effectiveness needed to complete the mission.

The plans had already been drawn up and approved from the highest command.  The target had been selected and deemed worthy enough of such a great mission.  Everyone had been in agreed with the decision to set the mission date and inform the personnel of their assignments.  The individual squadrons were briefed on their targets and routes that they were to follow and the time of departure was the last bit of information given before they were set to their quarters for rest.  At the designated time the combined attack forces flew over their target and dispatched their cargo onto the target with precision guidance as drawn up by their commanders.

The devastation of the mission was great and in fact 15 square miles of the city was totally destroyed by fire including many of the civilians that were living in and around the industrial area.  The interior city of Dresden had been totally wiped off the face of the map; and the fires continued to burn throughout the city for weeks.  The attack force into the heart of that city was pinpoint and so effective that Dresden never recovered until the allies helped with the restoration of the city after the war ended.  The war effort of the city proved too valuable of a target not to skip and the allies felt that it would lengthen the war if they did not attack the industrial area of the city.  So in this case even though the attacks and advancing armies were miles away the major objective of the region had to be completed by another means of attack.

What is amazing to think about is that the commanders of both examples had experienced their wars on an intimate level and in some way each of their lives had been personally touched by these conflicts.  Both commanders had their own personal reasons for believing in the war effort and both commanders understood that when wars are fought that sometimes the innocent dies during these battles.  The same has happened to our enemy because his life was touched so long ago but his grudge continues to grow to God’s prize possessions, innocent ones and everyone else who has drawn a breath are subject to a major offensive by our enemy, yet we sit and wait blindly and continue to live on our own “preparing” ourselves in case something happens.

These cities were targets by the enemy to make statements to the people that lived within the confines of the city; however, the title of this message is used in a singular form and even though I gave two examples in history concerning targets and the burning of those targets; however, the real target that my message is referring to is your heart, which is your spiritual city.  These examples were executed while there was a war ongoing, wars that had visible effects upon the lives of those who were around the area of fighting.  These attacks and marches were all part of the routine maneuvers that occur during a war and as it has been recorded for centuries that non participants of these wars still get caught in the fighting and end up just as hurt and devastated as the soldiers participating in the battles.

This is where you come into this picture.  For such a long time we have not recognized the true target of our enemy.  Our focus has been on other things or places which have allowed us to demean the value of a single person which in turn causes us to become blind to the oncoming attacks of the enemy.  I have written a couple of times in the past about the human and our connection with cities.  We still have not come to the realization that we are a city and we cannot be hidden from our enemy.  We are a target and if we are not prepared to defend ourselves and to help out those other “cities” to which the enemy has devastated we have lost our effectiveness as a Christian, not to mention being a human.

One detail to keep in our forebrains concerning these two examples.  The burning of Atlanta occurred in mid July which is one of the hottest times in the South during the summer.  The bombing of Dresden occurred in mid February which is still in winter.  Dresden is located at the base of the Ore Mountains which makes it cold during this time of the year.  Each of these occurrences happened in vulnerable or potentially difficult times of the year concerning the weather.  In other words, our enemy will strike us when our conditions are at a vulnerable time, which represents both good and bad times in our lives.

Our enemy has an objective and his objective is your heart!  He will do anything in his authority to destroy your heart and blind you to the truth.  The enemy has been allowed to waltz into our camps and take hold of key positions in the name of acceptance or tolerance.  This is nothing but a ploy from our enemy to continue his assault on our hearts and to bring in his philosophical ideas within our spirits.  Once our spirit is infiltrated and shaded from the truth, the truth becomes a gray area which has no definition and therefore cannot be sustained in any form that humans come in contact with.  So, if the smallest of truth is subjugated as worldly realization then as humans we will eventually give into its lie.  Goebbels said it best some years ago that when you tell the public a certain idea long enough they will eventually believe it and accept it as the truth.  Our true enemy is doing just that to our inner cities and it is burning our cores to the ground.

This is a warning to us all and especially the Church, wake up and smell the coffee and take notice of what we are allowing into our lives.  This acceptance of the worldly lies that our enemy is pushing into our lives through societal means will destroy our inner beings if we do not stop believing them.  It is time that we turn back to God and to realize what our enemy has stolen from us.  We need to restore our relationship with God and turn from our wicked thoughts and gray lines.  This world does not care about you nor does the spirit that controls it, only God cares about you and He is the only answer for humanity.  The world’s troubles will not stop coming, in fact they are just beginning and as long as humans continue to look for a king we will continue to sink into the muck and the mire of the world.  It will not be until we look to The King that our answers to our questions will be given and peace returns to our hearts again.

DLB

Believing the War is a Game

Believing the War is a Game

8/25/12

The human has always been curious when it comes to war and all of its proceedings.  We have long since studied wars and the effects that they have on the participants of those wars.  We as humans also have loved to play armchair quarterback when it comes to analyzing these events and how the people who were involved were wrong or right in their decisions to fight.  All of us have had our opinions concerning war and likewise most of us have put in our two cents when it comes to this topic.  Humans love to fantasize about war and place it in a game situation trying to justify its outcome with our own interpretations.  But while we perform this ritual we fail to see what really is occurring, we are ourselves being attacked and formed in a line to defend our beliefs, then we fail to notice that we are actually the targets of this war effort and are sucked into the deeper division that our enemy wishes us to be.

Weeks before the beginning of the Civil War great anticipation of the coming events were buzzing off the lips of everyone in the area that would become the lands of the first battles and skirmishes of the war.  Of course many people were against the war, many supported the war, and almost every other viewpoint was represented in every community.  There were included in this population people who were anxious to witness the events of the war and could not wait until the fighting began.  Now, none of the people of this era could have imagined what was going to happen at that time since all they had to recollect was the American Revolution and the War of 1812 in which case the technology was less modernized and much simpler. 

Within these communities of people who wanted to exorcise their blood-letting desires, some actually came up with the idea that they should be allowed to observe the battlefield events as they occurred.  Many proposals were drafted and/or talked about during the weeks leading up to the said skirmishes and it was eventually agreed upon that if people really wanted to sit out in the open and watch the battles unfold that they may do that without any hesitation from the participants.  However, there were many protests against this decision but as time grew closer the decision did not change and the ones who wished to watch the events transpire were allowed to do so.

Most of this may not be well known to the majority of the people who have not studied or are really familiar with the American Civil War, but it did happen even though the spectators of these events did not continue the practice very long due to the details that would be witnessed in short time.  Most of these people were deemed war mongers and haters of the opposite side, whichever side that might have been.  This type of ideology should not be shocking since after all they were humans and had the same capability of forming their opinions about the current state of affairs.

The people that were enthralled with the idea of watching a battle being waged had no reckoning of what actually was going on and how the political posturing had allowed this series of events come to a head in this manner.  These people did not recognize the fact that up until the first shots of the war just how dangerous the situation had become and had ignored the signs due to the fact that they were consumed in themselves to take notes with their firsthand accounts.  And with their picnic baskets in tow and their Sunday best clothes on, these people gathered into their places to watch the skirmishes play out and who could blame them for it would be their first opportunity to actually see some fighting like never before, the thrill of the fight if you wish to make it in that light.

At the end of the first volley of shots I can imagine that the tone of the spectators changed pretty quickly, especially when they realized that the people that were being hit with the opposing gunfire did not rise back up to fight again.  I can imagine that as soon as the first volleys ceased the cries and screams of the wounded began to ring out and when curiosity reached the spectators they must have charged to the wounded only to notice that the blood was real and that things had changed for the worse.  Of course many thoughts must have run through the minds of the spectators including that only a few of these battles would occur and that the ones fighting would realize the damage and end the talk and actions of war.  Everyone soon found out that this was not going to be the case and after four long years of separation and fighting many families would be permanently devastated along with an entire country.  The realization that the thrill of the fight was now a reality in which was not a pleasant feeling at all and the consequences were going to be great.

The American Civil War actually served as a unique fight since it actually was a war that pitted not only regions of the same country against each other but in many instances it divided families against each other.  It is hard for us to imagine a mother losing one, two or more sons in fighting a war but to lose more than one son on opposite sides of the conflict is horrible to imagine, but in truth, this type of scene played out each day in this war.  And when this type of loss happens, in this manner there can be no way to deny that some longer lasting bitterness is born within those who had to face this tragedy.

I myself have fallen into this category because I have always been enthusiastic about war and all of its concepts.  I do not wish war upon anyone but I have to admit the action of war has kept my mind active ever since I was a kid.  I remember one time when we were living in California I had a train board which served as a battleground along with scenery and other types of communal environments.  Most of the boys in the neighborhood had these train boards and each of us had a different setting so that our battlefield scenes could present different challenges as the “battle” unfolded.  We would be continually upgrading our boards by buying more soldiers, scenery, buildings, etc until the board became too small for all of our landscape scenarios and expansion ideas had to be forthwith.

During this period of time in my life I even had the concern that my ideas about war were wrong in which case I asked my father about them and the advice he gave me was priceless.  Being a minister his answer came from the Bible and it was in a manner in which addressed both sides of the issue.  In one instance he told me that King David loved the concepts of war and proved to be a great warrior on the battlefield.  In another instance he told me that sometimes wars hit home to the families that are involved in the fighting and that all issues must be thought about before the actual fighting began.  He then said that no matter what the final decision about a war is always place God first in the decisions concerning the war issue and no matter what the outcome would be, God would prevail as the victor for finding the ultimate solution.

I also remember that Fort Ord Army Base was just a few miles up the road from where we lived.  At that time the public was allowed to drive through part of the base without having to go through any checkpoints or guard stations.  Part of the drive to Monterey took us past the airfield where all of the helicopters were parked when they were not participating in exercises.  I would always hope that some of them would be ready to take off as we were driving by or flying around in the immediate vicinity so I could gaze upon them.  Most of the time I would be disappointed but every once-in-a-while I would get lucky and see some “activity”.  This only fueled my desire to learn more about war and its concepts but even though my curiosity grew about the subject, I could not have imagined the consequences of war until I saw them first hand.

A popular science fiction movie came out in 1996 called Independence Day.  In this movie there was a scene that portrayed the alien spacecrafts over some of the major cities of the world and they were obviously positioning themselves in a fashion that would prove to be focal points of their weapons.  Their positions were strategically placed and when they arrived at their designated positions they stopped and began the final preparations for the usage of their weapons.  This was a tense moment in the movie since mass panic was occurring on the streets of the metropolitan areas and people were jammed throughout the areas and were stuck in fixed positions with no escape.

As the scene continued certain people were thrilled that the aliens had arrived and were wanting to greet the aliens and welcome them to the planet, as a gesture of goodwill.  These people went up to the tops of high rise buildings and began singing and dancing around waving signs of greetings to the aliens and “welcoming” their arrival to the planet.  Of course as the aliens watched the people below they had no intentions of stopping their plans and so the invasion force began their destructive process.  As the time arrived for the alien craft to fire upon the cities the bottom of the spacecrafts opened up and lit up the surrounding sky with a spectacular light.  This event caused the people on the ground witnessing the event to stop and look towards the light all while the people “greeting” the aliens danced and cheered at the appearance of some significant gesture by the aliens.  As the people sand and danced the aliens opened fire on the people and no matter what their opinion was about the aliens, everyone around the area were destroyed.

As in both scenes the reality of the situation, participants and observers did not matter, the process began and was completed without these people being asked to move or if they wanted to change their minds when the “shooting” started.  The course had been set and the players had been chosen and the consequences and hurts set in stone.  It does not matter if one of the scenes was fiction or not, the reality is that the concepts of the mindsets of the people were similar and we are seeing the same mindsets being played out in our society today and it is a very dangerous setting that we allowing to occur.  Even though the second example has never taken place the first example is a reality that has once again fronted itself in our society.

What many people fail to see is that this type of scenario is playing out once again within our modern society.  With each passing day we are exposed to more and more intimate details about people’s lives and how we try and convince people to choose to be on one side or the other.  We lash out with ridiculous thoughts and ideas to make our believed points seem the truth all the while hiding the true agenda of division.  We want so much to be right and to believe that we have helped our fellow man to “see” the light.  We love to point out damaging aspects of our opponents while patting our stance on the back with cynical greed.  Who cares what is really happening in the worlds of the people, it is all about being right and to intimidate others through words and phrases.  In these types of settings our posturing to sit at the right hand of the popular people is costing us our integrity and our true interests in the name of correctness.

I find it amazing of how many of the young people of the modern world follow blindly to certain politicians, musicians, actors and actresses simply because all of these people portray lives of glamour and glory but what these kids fail to realize is that they will never have the life that these people live and nor will they be able to comprehend this concept if things do not change soon.  It is this wedge of division that has now crept over into the family system and of course it has begun with the kids.  Historians have stated that there is not a single family lineage with American roots that was not affected by the Civil War in some form.  If this is true then it should be common knowledge that some type of division could take place within modern families.

We continually see this scene play out on our airwaves and until God is allowed back into our lives and we get our eyes off of ourselves this trend will continue and we will once again have severe fighting in the streets of our country.  Not only will the fighting be of the physical nature but it will be of the mental, social and spiritual levels as well.  No level of life that the human can imagine will be spared since humans always like to up-stage themselves down the road.  The excitement that humans have to be right and to be popular far outweighs the consequences that these beliefs bring them in the long run.  Popularity comes and goes and it will be gone from your world in what seems like a day but the truth may be compromised by your actions for an entire generation or even longer.

We see this legacy of division presenting itself every day across our world.  It is just not in our country but in so many countries and in so many different tribes of people.  Anger is driving our world to a death march and it has no signs of letting up, only increasing.  We are on a path of civil destruction that only God can delay.  We must stop and notice that what we are doing is actually hurting the world and not helping it.  Our actions come truly from our spirits and this is the type of battle that is being waged on our lives and we are blind to its blooding.  We must stop the blood lust of our spirits and contain ourselves within the confines of God’s laws or we will become once again as in the days of Noah.  God is a patient God and a loving God and I know that there is a time frame that is completed before His judgment is poured out on His people and whether you know it or not or believe it or not, all of us are His people.

Time is running out on this course of action that we have chosen.  God will allow certain things to come to pass on this country and other countries of the world which will serve as a warning to greater judgment.  God does not wish this on His people but He must always do what is correct and just no matter what man thinks.  Let us wake up and begin to see what is actually happening in our world.  Let us drop the political posturing and trying to deem who is right.  Let us forget about what we want for our lives and how we believe that we should live.  Let us return back to God and to embrace His laws for our lives once again.  Returning back to God is the ONLY way that our society will have any chance of survival.  Returning back to God will fix all of the problems that the world is facing today, not some of them but ALL of them.

DLB

Heart Condition XXII

Heart Condition Part XXII

8/12/12

As the blood pressure cuff finally released on my arm the aide said that it was still coming down.  My pressure was still high but at least it was headed in the right direction.  The aide completed all of her other vital sign duties and wrote each result down on my bedside chart.  She then asked if I needed anything to which I said no and she then took her things and left the room.  I thought for a second about my theory and how it was panning out as I had believed.  So I began planning my next move in order to keep myself off of other blood pressure medications and to get off of the one that my doctor was surely going to put me on.  My mind was racing at this point trying to outthink the doctors and all of the other medical staff.

I knew that my weight would be the first issue that needed to be addressed, I had been overweight for quite some time now and in the back of my mind I knew I would not feel good until I was back down to my normal and healthy weight.  My diet needed to change which would correspond with my weight issues.  We needed to change the intake of our food and how much we actually ate would also need to be adjusted.  At this time in my life I did not know my biological history within my family but I knew that my cholesterol and associated enzymes were not good, and as stated before they had been high ever since the mid 80s.

I had a plan so I thought.  I believed that once my blood pressure lowered back to normal that I would return to my normal ways of living after a couple of more days off from work.  With my current episode I had made up my mind to work at this goal and to obtain it as quickly and healthily as possible.  I then took another “scan” of my pain level and I noticed that the pain continued to diminish in its intensity so much so that when I thought about the pain it was actually tolerable.  I guess with the confirmation of my blood pressure going down and my pain level following suit reinforced my belief that I was out of the woods and ready to take on a new strategy for my health.

I turned on the television sound and began to hunt for the football game.  It was getting late in the evening so I knew that some of the game would be history by now but it was something to do to kill time.  As I adjusted the television to the correct channel and sound level my nurse walked in to give me my meds.  As she handed me my pill cup I noticed that they were for my cholesterol and my blood pressure.  She asked how I was feeling just as the aide came back in with her blood pressure pole.  I had forgotten that once they give you a blood pressure pill that they had to monitor your blood pressure on a regular basis for a certain amount of time, I became slightly depressed once again but I had a smile on my face.  I was hooked up to the cuff as both of my pills made their way from the cup to my mouth and then were swallowed as instructed.

After a quick wash of water to flush the pills down I answered the nurse’s question about how I was feeling.  I was getting better as the evening drug on and I explained that my localized pain was easing as well.  Just then the blood pressure cuff released and my new BP was even lower than the last reading, which further ignited my little gray cells in my head to believe that this episode was only a high blood pressure incident.  With a few more surface checks the aide wrote my numbers down and then proceeded to leave the room.

The nurse glanced at my oxygen tube which was being hidden behind my back and when she asked why I did not have it in I gave her the excuse of that I did not want it in.  She did not like that answer and then traced the tube and threatened to put it back in herself if I did not accomplish the task within the next ten seconds.  I could tell she was serious and at the same time I knew deep down that I had to have it on but I also knew she would leave the room shortly and that I could take it right back out.  My stubbornness and “know it all” attitude about medicine almost cost me more than I was bargaining for.  My nurse stood over me like a mother hen as I grudgingly placed the cannula back into my nostrils and looped the tubing around my ears.  I then looked up at her and asked if she was happy and she replied yes and then stated that all she wanted was for me to get better so that we once again could work together as it should be.  With that she smiled and turned around and headed to the door.

I have always hated it when other people say things to me concerning my health and I have to sit there, or in this case lie there and accept it as the truth.  I knew that she was correct and that there was nothing that I could say or do to counteract her short pinpoint speech because even though I did not want to admit it she was right in her assessment of the entire situation.  AS soon as the door to my room was closed I immediately took the cannula back out of my nose and placed it on my pillow.  I took a deep breath and had no pain in my breathing exercise.  I then turned my attention onto the football game.  For a person who had learned about compromising his beliefs in his path and vowed never to do it again, I was unknowingly following that same path once again by not following directions.  God was merciful in this time and I thank Him for His mercies each day.

The football game on TV was not interesting at the time I began to watch it but as the game drew further the scenario became very interesting.  The big lead of the one team was slowly dwindling every few minutes.  I still did not enjoy the professional football league but for whatever reason this game caught my attention and I decided to follow it until the end.  The aide came back in the room after a few minutes and took my blood pressure again, which revealed even though I was watching an exciting game my pressure continued its fall back into the normal range.  I then noticed that the pain in my shoulder was almost completely gone which gave me greater relief.

Towards the end of the game my new night nurse came into my room to see how I was doing and to let me know that she would be taking care of me during the night.  I had known this nurse for many years and we had a good working relationship.  Her daughter had recently graduated from nursing school and had started working in the hospital as well.  We chatted for a few minutes and then she told me she would return after report to get my vitals again before they let me sleep.  She asked if I needed anything and after I said no she turned and headed for the door and closed it behind her.  I went back to my game all the while thinking that at some time the lab night tech should pop his head in to get some blood but being a stable angina patient that probably would not come until the middle of the night.

I bring back the construction of the new hospital building to the story.  The reason I do is to make a point about how God works in people’s lives without them even really realizing it until an even occurs within their lives happens; and as being humans we might not even realize what we are seeing or encountering in our lives how it plays into our lives at a future point down our path of life. 

Having worked at the hospital for many years I was keenly aware of most of the plans that transpired throughout the hospital and the plans of the new building was no different.  When the construction of the building began I was at the ground breaking ceremony, saw the first dirt being dug by the huge machinery and witnessed the columns going up as the building began to take some kind of visible form.  This process naturally continued at its slow and methodical pace but each day it seemed like nothing happened to my eye but in my head I knew that something different was there within that building after each working day.  As days turned into weeks the changes became visible and the shape of the building grew and actually started to look like the sign that stood at the front of the property.

I would then turn back to the current building and look at its condition and I could not help but to remember some of the problems that I knew about concerning the construction of the current building.  The outside structure of the building looked fairly decent but the insides or the guts of the hospital were in terrible shape.  One example was in the laboratory where every so often the large pipes that carried coolant to the other end of the building would leak and produce a wet spot on our ceiling tiles.  This was not a problem most of the time but if the leak occurred when no one was in the lab, we would walk into a huge mess the next morning.  It was these types of flaws that only people who worked in the hospital would know about and would associate with.

Looking back on my life I knew that all of humans are like the old hospital building and that we try and put on so much of a physical front on the outside that many times we totally neglect our inner conditions.  This old building was sound for the most part but some of its inner structures had flaws that hindered the overall function of the hospital.  This is exactly what happens within the majority of our lives and we need to first recognize these flaws and correct them as soon as possible.  But at the same time we need to recognize that God wants to restore our lives in His image and ways. 

This new image and ways represent the new hospital and all of its stages in the building process.  Most of us fail to realize this activity that is going on within our lives once the process begins.  The restoration process is not an overnight project but it takes time to establish the boundaries, rooms, etc of our new building.  It is very important that we remember where we have come from and how we functioned in our old ways and means.  It is just as important to remember that our restoration process is actually a work in progress and that it will change our lives completely if we allow the master to complete His work in our lives.

So, as we look at the new building project that God is completing in us, it is ok to remember the areas in which we are being improved upon and accept the pains of the building process within our hearts.  It is ok to remember our past but it just as important not to allow cracks to be obtained in our new building by not allowing God to complete His work in our lives.  Even though I walked by the new building every day and watched it being built literally from the ground up I had no idea that God had that same process in mind for my life both physical and spiritual.  It does hurt sometimes and it is scary to be honest but I trust in God to know that He knows what He is doing in my life and I try to obey more than I sacrifice, because obeying is the original foundation for a relationship.

DLB