4/10/13
One of the more popular events that humans like to enjoy is playing some type of game. The athletic events that engulf the world attract millions of spectators each year and the results of these events have people talking and arguing about them for decades. But a sporting event is not the most popular sport that humans play and is not even close to the popularity of this sport. The sport that I am talking about is the “what if” game. Every human being has played this game and will play this game at sometime during their lifespan. It is a sport of defeat and victory along with pain and progress. We cannot change the scenes of the what if game, however there is a way to restore our playing field to the level ground that sets the record clean and allows us to fully continue with our journey.
One of the most disappointing realities that we have is to know that we will fail at some type of opportunity in our life. These opportunities do not have to be just isolated in the business sense, but they can be extended into every aspect of human life. It does not matter what part of the world or culture that you come from, we are all human and we are subject to this phenomenon.
Of course we try and limit our missed opportunities in life but when you look at yourself and at others, one must realize that no matter how hard we try to avoid these situations, many times we fall right back into the same conditions. It is ok to miss opportunities for it is a part of life’s lessons that we all endure. None of us are immune to these situations and I am here to tell you that it is ok and that we have the ability to pick ourselves up and try again in life. The majority of these situations present themselves at times when we are least expecting them but as in any case, these situations can be carefully planned out and then blown with one single phrase. It has happened to me many times and like mine, most of these circumstances are on a personal level and ones that we will not forget for a long time.
When I was a senior in high school I was in a program that was designed solely for kids who were interested in going into the medical field after they graduated. It was an academic program that a student could apply for but had to be approved by the teacher after a stern interview. There were many that applied for a certain amount of seats in the class, but the teacher did an excellent job of making sure that the students that were accepted really were interested in the program and the possibilities of a medical career.
Being a typical teenager who believed that he knew everything I entered into the classroom each day with a certain degree of certainty that all was going to proceed according to plan where it concerned my studies. I absolutely loved the HAS class and it was the highlight of my day. I did not imagine how much I was going to learn in that class, but the information that was taught me I have kept with me even up to this day. I will never forget the opportunities that the program opened up for me and I have not once regretted my decision to complete the course.
As time progressed in this class, I naturally became close to some of the other students in the room, which was easy since out of the class of sixteen students, only two of us were boys. I was in heaven so to speak, or so I thought. Even though I had not grown up in Nederland I was a friendly chap who got along with most everyone so by the time I graduated from Nederland, I was accepted as a native boy and loved every bit of it. With my personality came choices that I had to make and since I was the local preacher’s kid I had to make sure that those choices did not have any bad reflections upon my parents. Yes, I wanted to do stupid things and yes, I tried some of these things but for the most part I kept a clean sheet and honored my family name.
However, with me being a teenage boy the natural instinct concerning girls was prominent in my thinking. However, there were some defining measures within my thinking that I did not know could be a potential time bomb, and at that time I also had no idea that the fuse had already been lit and it was going to explode within a few short months. This situation would prove to be a monumental point in my life that would eventually bring significant changes to my thinking and beliefs, but this changing of the guard in my life would not actually occur until decades later.
After a while in class some of my classmates began to tell me about one certain girl that had expressed some interest in whereabouts, comings, and goings, etc. At first I really could not believe that this girl was interested in me since I had not even been around her too much. But over the next few weeks their prodding me about why I have not talked to her was becoming annoying, even though I considered this particular girl as a great girl to date. It was obvious that she had every other female student in the class after me to ask her out. So, being the nice boy that I was I waited till the girls in the class approached the other guy in the class and he promptly blurted out loudly in class for me to ask her out. Embarrassment time was huge at that moment but it was effective and within a few minutes I had completed the task.
There was no hesitation on her part with an answer to the question that everyone wanted me to ask. Even though I was embarrassed at the moment it was a great decision of mine and as I stared at her home phone number in my hand I could only imagine of the possibilities that could take place. I placed the piece of paper in my pocket and left the building for my assignment at the hospital. It was hard for me to concentrate on my learning duties that day but I muddled my way through it and was anxious to get home, eat dinner and then make a specific call.
When that moment came the confidence that I had built up all day long had simply seemed to vanish in an instant. I picked up the phone and cautiously dialed the number and with the first ring on the other end my heart began to race. The phone was soon answered and an older voice completed a greeting. I hesitated for just a moment but found the courage to return the greeting and inform them of my name. It was evident that the girl had told her parents that she was expecting a call because of the way her mother responded to my voice. This eased my fears a bit but not very much since I had no idea of what her parents thought about me asking for her daughter to come to the phone.
A few seconds later a quiet voice crossed over through my receiver and my fears subsided for a bit. We talked for a few minutes and then I thought that at this moment would be the best to find out when and where our first date would be. It did not take too long to complete the details of this night but it ended up going to be a while down the road since both of our families had conflicting schedules; the date would be a few weeks down the road.
During the time that we were waiting to have our date it was obvious that we both liked each other by completing little things for one another. According to the people that knew her and I, believed that we were a great match. It took a few days for both of our nerves to settle down when we were around each other but soon we were functioning together as a teenage couple would be. As we spent more time with each other we began to venture out and ask more specific questions about each other, this part of a relationship is always nerve racking since you are throwing your heart out to a stranger and it is well known that when this time arrives, each one involved is very vulnerable. But there were not really any surprises with either of our answers to each other and we proceeded with our friendship.
The big day had arrived, it was date night and once again my comfort zone was being smashed with the thought of me meeting her family. I did not have a clue about her side of things however, since she was in the same boat with meeting my parents. I knocked on her door and was invited in by her brother, and then the formal introductions occurred and to my amazement no major hiccups were witnessed. We scurried out of her house and I proceeded to be the gentleman that my father had taught me to be and we soon made way over to my house for part two of meet the parents night. As expected my parents had no problems with her and the general questions that they had were of a light nature just as her parents’ were. All went well with this part of the date and in our heads, the more exciting portion was yet to come.
The popular restaurant that we chose to go to was great and the food came in a timely manner. The conversation was great and we were becoming more acquainted with each other as the minutes passed by. We both had noticed that it was beginning to rain a bit outside, another common factor that we had with each other that added to the incredible atmosphere. The dinner was over and we decided on desert, no problems in what to order either, it was looking even better. After desert we sat around talking and just enjoying finding out things about each other, which is what people need to do that wish to establish any type of relationship between them. This is the part where things fell apart, and it was not her doings it was totally mine.
The topic of religion came up and I knew that she did not attend my church but I had not officially found out which denomination she and her family was associated with. When I asked that question she immediately responded and I just sat there for a moment. She had known my denomination but I had not even bothered to ask her about her faith. It should have been no big deal yet I sat a bomb off under the table that we were in by addressing the fact that I did not agree with some of the things that her denomination believed in. Well, it went downhill from there because of my stupid and immature reasoning about differences people have. On our first date we have an argument about a simple minor detail that was of no consequence to our lives yet I acted foolishly and ended a good evening and a potential wonderful relationship with my stupidity.
Needless to say the date ended abruptly and the ride back to her house was very quiet. There was nothing that I could do to salvage the evening and we both knew it. The quick goodbye at the door was it and I turned and walked back to my car believing that I was an idiot and that I had blown a perfect opportunity to develop a relationship with her. There was no excuse for my behavior but I knew that right at that moment was not the time to address anything else.
News spreads fast in a small town, just to point that out to those who do not already know that. J I had not taken into account of the reaction that I would receive on Monday in class, not too many people were happy with me about what had occurred over the weekend, and rightly so. I approached the girl and tried my best to apologize for what I had said and done, a feeble response is what I received in return but the hurt and damage I had caused had been done and there was nothing left to salvage. I did not blame her at all and neither did I blame the ones who chose to take it out me, for I deserved everything I received.
That incident and aftermath occurred over twenty five years ago and the entire role has played through my mind many times over the years. I have asked myself “why” so many times I cannot count anymore and the question of “what if” have followed close behind. It is a time of my life when I was young but I was also human at the same time. Did I blow a perfect relationship and life that could have produced a President? Or would it have produced a terrible encounter that might have led to an ugly life for the both of us. The “what if” question still haunts me sometimes concerning this event and coupled with the other what if questions of my past, I am glad that there is a way past those questions.
I do not dwell on all of my “what if” situations for there is not much I can do about them at this time. However, when God does allow the opportunity to rise and I have the ability to correct some of these things, I do it with a glad and happy heart for it is a restoration of part of my past that I see as an important issue to correct. Even though I have set the record straight in one of these instances, it does not close the what if questions but it does allow for these questions to be placed in a separate category in which I know God has taken care of in His own way.
We can spend gobs of time on our past or “what if” situations and end up with nothing but time wasted. There is no point in dwelling on these issues. But on the other hand it is very important that we do not forget them so that we can teach our children not to make the same mistakes as we did. Will they listen, probably not but at least you have thrown out an example that they can grasp onto when and if the situation occurs. Their situation may not be on a personal relationship level but on another similar setting that has presented itself. Every individual is just that, individual and independent of another. However, the same concept can be applied to these occurrences if we know and understand that we will always make bad decisions at some time, but God is willing to forgive us when we realize that these are mistakes that divide humans and draw back His Kingdom.
The gift of restoration covers every “what if” situation that we allowed to happen within our life. And once we ask God to forgive these situations, He is faithful to restore us back to the level playing field with a better knowledge of handling similar circumstances in the future. And having this knowledge of a restart with humanity is another great example of God’s Kingdom at work.
DLB
No comments:
Post a Comment