Heart Condition IV
5/21/12
With my comments to Bonnie concerning the issues that needed to be discussed, I wanted to go jump back in the van and lock it before she could open the door and immediately go for my jugular but I was not that lucky and that fast either and in my opinion some of us could not take a joke. I closed the van door and locked the remaining doors on the van with the electronic key thingy and proceeded, with caution, towards the back door of the house. I knew I had to go by Bonnie at close range to unlock the back door and as I did I wanted to know how come some person had not invented an electronic key opening thingy for back doors.
Not much was said until all the girls were in their beds which only took a few minutes. The inevitable discussion took place on the couch and lasted for some time. Bonnie was wanting to know why I was avoiding the idea that something seriously be wrong and I was acting like it was no big deal. She brought up the fact that in my career I had witness many people having heart attacks in front of my eyes and that not every one of them follow a set pattern; she used my own words against me. I tried my best to explain to her that he pains that I had were not the classic symptoms of a person trying to have or in the process of having a heart attack and that I would be having other pains around my body that would give more merit to the claim. Plus, I would look very ridiculous if I checked myself into the emergency room and then find out it was a gas bubble due to the fact of what I had eaten for the last few days.
Bonnie’s side of the conversation did not waiver at all and she was insistent that I get a doctor’s appointment as soon as possible because she was concerned for my health, then she told me that I looked terrible and that she knew something was going on that was not right. She also said that she did not care what I thought about the situation and that if I did not agree to go to the doctor that she would call up there and tell the nurses in the office what was going on with me. At this point there was not much I could say so I turned to look at Bear for a bit. Even Bear was looking at me in a funny manner, an almost scared look to be exact, which I have known that animals can have a sense about humans and other natural occurrences before people realize what is happening. Bear, my trusted compatriot and faithful friend sold me out with his unusual looks towards my direction, which Bonnie ever so cleverly pointed out as well.
After a few minutes of sitting there and realizing that she was not going to let go of this event, I once again agreed that if I had any major pain in my chest that I would immediately go to the emergency room and that if it was during regular business hours I would call the doctor’s office and make an appointment. At this time Bonnie added a few things and changed her mind about the agreement, which the additions were no big deal and were givens but the thing she changed was that if I was hurting during the business day that I would call the doctor’s office and speak with a nurse and tell them everything that was going on inside my body. She was getting wise to my scheme so once again I shut my mouth and said ok I promise.
The second part of the lecture began with my responsibility to my family and to my girls that needed me around. This statement struck a chord within my mind and I mulled an answer over before I spoke, which at that point no matter what answer I gave would be a correct one since she had involved the kid’s issue. She continued on with hardheadedness issues and how I was not thinking about anyone else but myself, and more specifically my pride. When I did not respond to this statement after a few moments she asked what I was thinking and I said the wrong thing which was “I don’t know”. She stood up and said that I had made my promises to her and that she would hold me to them, which I verbally agreed to once again.
At this point I continued to sit on the couch and try to think about my pain again and what type of pain it was. Up until now, it was only like a surface pain or a pain that was close to the surface of my chest, nothing deep like I had read about and heard from many patients. No belt feeling around the chest tightening as time went along, and no pain in my jaw or left arm. I did throw out the idea that I could one of those that present with no symptoms or irregular symptoms but my pride swelled again and said that I was not capable of being in that category. Bear continued to sit with me on the couch and occasionally look over at me with a concerned look about his face, give a sigh and then place his head back down on the couch again.
Bonnie had brought some important issues concerning my beliefs about my health. Up to that point I had no clue about my family history when it came to my biological familial health affairs, and at this point in my life I had no reason to believe anything major was to be done. I knew that my cholesterol was high and that my weight gain was not helping matters any but I was feeling fine and there was no need to alert the troops in my mind. I also thought about the conversation that I just had with one of the family physicians about my cholesterol level and she actually gave me some samples to try to see what effect they would have on my levels, and during our conversation she reminded me of the recent death of one of our colleagues and how he refused to deal with the same conditions.
With all of the information I had at my disposal and he unknown family history and the knowledge of my own blood chemistry levels I should be a bit more cautious about my health. So I really did want to do the right thing and I made up my mind that if anything else should happen in the pain category I would go and see a doctor, in other words I would play another round of roulette with my life. After thinking about things in my head for a while I decided to join Bonnie in the bed. I was tired but at the moment, and for some time I was pain free and ready to get some sleep. My mind did its usual thing and performing its end of the day thought process of everything that it had witnessed that day. It had many things to process and it continued to try and think of alternative health processes that I could be experiencing, but in the back of my mind everything continued to point in one direction but I made up my mind to loiter on this cardiovascular possibility.
DLB
Part V coming….
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