Heart Condition Part XIV
6/27/12
My night’s rest ended abruptly when the alarm went off signaling it was time to get out of bed and get the girls ready for their day. I laid in bed for just a few seconds until Bear had moved enough for me to get out without flipping him onto the other side of the bed. As he sat on the edge of the bed he looked back at me with that curious look on his face once again and then as Bonnie picked him up off the bed and put him on the ground he scampered out of the room and headed to complete his morning business. As he was leaving the room I realized that he was not up at his usual time and that he did not sit and stare at one of us until we woke up which was usually before our alarm sounded. I tossed this thought aside and crawled out of bed and began to look for my slippers.
With all of the hustling and other racket going on in the house reality set in and told each one of us that playtime was over and it was now back to our regularly scheduled program in which school and work dictated our every movement. I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet for a few moments. My mind began to think about the weekend and how I considered it to be basically pain-free and further padded my belief that nothing was seriously wrong. A knock on the door broke my train of thought followed by the words of “how long are you going to be in there”? I said that I was almost done and would be out in a few minutes. My thoughts returned to my possible problem and I continued to mull over the options that I wished to think about.
My five minute morning bathroom time was used up and the natives were letting me know in their own ways that I no longer belonged in that area and that my eviction was imminent if I did not vacate right then and now. I was already washing my hands and opened the door only to be rushed by incoming girls, they did not even give me time to get out of the way. Brushes and other hair supplies flew out of the bathroom so fast that I believed I heard the sound barrier break. They certainly had no time for dad or what he was doing their goals were determined and sites set and I was not going to stand in their way. So, on this front everything seemed to be in order and normal. I passed the fireplace insert and opened it and took the poker from its stand and then rearranged the coals. I saw that they were still red underneath so I placed a few logs into the area and then closed the doors to the insert. I then placed the poker back into its stand and walked towards the kitchen.
As the rush of girls came pouring into the bathroom the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen began to infiltrate the area as well. Breakfast on a school morning was always interesting in which there was hardly ever a time that all of us actually sat down together and began breakfast, ate breakfast and ended breakfast at the same time. Bekkah was usually the first one at the table and was “starving” and always wanted mom to hurry up. Tatem would eventually join us as the last installment to the table but at some point all of us were located in our appropriate places but as soon as whomever finished first, they were gone to continue the getting ready process. I made one of my common snide comments to Bekkah concerning that if she would slow down when she ate that she could actually taste her food and that she might enjoy it better to which I received no response as she looked at me when she left the kitchen. It was a wonderful routine that we had each weekday morning and I would have had it any other way. I am not going to mention Bear in this portion but his place at the table was next to me sitting on his hind legs looking like a furry Buddha waiting for a handout of food, see he thought he was starving as well. It was a chaotic scene but it was a time that I had to see all of my girls and nothing could take that away.
Most of the time all of the girls had left the table before Bonnie and I had an opportunity to sit down and discuss the plans for the day and coming evening, which this particular morning was one of those times. We began to discuss what was happening and what we were going to eat for dinner and spoke about a few bills that needed to be paid, in other words just normal talk between the adults in the house. We finished eating and placed the plates into the sink and then rinsed them and set them to dry. I would take care of them at some part of the morning after they dried.
I left the kitchen and walked into the hall to go to the office when I heard the sound of water running in the bathroom which was both the little girls trying to brush their teeth at the same time. This made me smile as I began to go into the office knowing that in about five minutes that it would be time for me to go out and start the van so the engine would be warm and so the inside of the van as well. I did not have many jobs to complete during the morning rush hour at the house but when I was asked to do something I tried my best to get it done as soon as possible.
I sat in my chair and found the on/off button on the computer. I pushed the button and the computer began its startup procedures. High speed internet was not available where we lived so only the dial up speed was accessible so it was a common thing to turn off the computer at our house each night. I watched the words, dots and other patterns go down the screen and then the main screen came up. My background picture appeared and the computer’s “brain” was just a rolling right along doing its normal thing. I looked at my watch and realized it was time for the van to be started so I got out of my chair and headed to find Bonnie’s keys. We will not address the key situation at this time but just know that the process can be comical and frustrating at the same time.
I located the keys and began my walk to the back door. Bear followed me seeing that it was another opportune time for him to go outside and see what the back yard was offering. Plus, each time he heard keys jingling he thought it might be an opportunity for him to go somewhere. I opened the back door and then the screen it was not that cold so I did not shut either one of them. I then reached the back gate and opened it and made sure Bear was no where around as I walked out of the yard. I did close the gate door since Bear was an opportunist when it came to getting out of the backyard.
I pushed the automatic key button and unlocked the van doors. If I did not unlock all doors at this time I would forget about it and then it would be promptly brought to my attention when I went out with Bonnie to make sure all was ok inside the van. I opened the driver’s side door and got into the seat and put the key into the ignition. I turned the key and the van started right up as usual. I turned down the radio to a dull roar and then I turned on the heat so that the temperature would be somewhat warmer when everyone arrived. I then jumped out of the driver’s seat and then shut the door. As I walked around the front of the van it sounded great and it looked like everything was going on as schedule. I opened the back gate again and saw Bear at the gate waiting for me to return. I came through the gate and then closed it behind me. Bear walked in front of me and went back into the house before I did. I then shut the screen door and back door behind me as I entered into the house.
I went into the kitchen and saw Bekkah waiting at the table and I asked her if she was ready to go to Marla’s, she said yes and asked if she could go to the van. I said wait for your sister and then you guys could go out, fully knowing that neither one of the little girls could open any of the van doors since they were too small. Tatem was almost finished brushing her teeth when Rachel arrived in the kitchen. These two loved going to Marla’s and it was a blessing for us to have Marla as a Christian option for their preschool years and the girls learned so much during that period of time as well.
Tatem finished brushing her teeth and gathered her things that were on the couch. I was still standing in the kitchen with the two little girls when Tatem said she was ready. Those words prompted another furious motion towards the back door. I loudly asked the girls if they were forgetting something and they both looked at me with the “I have no clue what you are babbling about old man” look on their faces until I mentioned a kiss. They then both ran back to me and gave me their daily kisses and then stormed out the door without looking back. Bonnie had her coat on and was gathering her other things as Tatem left the house.
As Bonnie and I were heading towards the door she asked me if I had been hurting at all and once again I could honestly tell her that I was not and had not been hurting. Yet, even though I was telling her the truth I was not giving her the entire information either which I really couldn’t do that since I had no idea what exactly was going on inside my heart. Bonnie told me that I looked terrible and that my color was not as it should have been. I asked her to describe it and she said I looked pale and almost a green color. I found that comment odd but continued towards the door. Bonnie then asked me if I remembered my promise about any chest pain and I responded “yes I did”.
I walked Bonnie out to the van. Bear came out with us and went immediately to the yard to look around for whatever dogs look for. I opened the gate and noticed that the girls were all ready for me to shut the sliding door. I went over to the sliding door and told them that I loved them and I hoped they had a great day. I then turned to Tatem who was in the passenger seat and told her the exam same thing and to remember to buckle up. I closed the sliding door in one motion and then turned to walk towards the driver’s side with Bonnie. As I turned to walk a weird sensation came over me it almost made me have the feeling of being dizzy but at the same time I was not dizzy at all. I kind of made a quick facial expression and then immediately looked around to see if anyone saw what had happened. I then placed my feet in front of me and walked around the front of the van without any pain or other balance problems. I went to the driver’s door and shut it firmly. Bonnie rolled down the window and began to tell me quietly about my promise. I nodded and then she gave me that look that she gives me when she doesn’t believe my answer in which I returned quickly by saying I promise. She rolled the window up as I stepped back from the van. She put the van in drive and pulled forward and made the circle out to the long driveway that led to the road into Delta. I stood and waved as they turned on the road.
All of us have said at one point in time that we can only live one day at a time. While this statement is a fact there comes a point during that day of ours that we might not get past, so instead of living one day at a time we might want to reclassify that saying to we only can live one moment to the next. God has His own timing for everything and for the most part we have no clue of His methods or ideologies for our lives. All we know is that His love for us allows us to live our life by our own means and we have the opportunity to make personal choices for just about anything. Governments can control our mouths and where we might go but no government can control what is in our heart and what our heart stands for on a daily basis.
God does recognize this aspect of our hearts but there comes a time that He knows when to let other circumstances present themselves in our lives in such a manner that is a little bit more pointed to get our attention. He also knows our heart well enough to say your time has ended or it is time for a directional change or even hey, I am trying to tell you something. Whatever the circumstance may be God is in complete control of your life whether you believe it or not or whether you know it or not. God is….God and I am not. So, He has to get our attention in various ways so that we can understand and fulfill His plan and purpose for our lives. Some of us listen more closely than others which is also a human trait J
DLB
Part XV to follow……
No comments:
Post a Comment