Dream Number 3

Dream Number 3

3/3/13

There is a party going on!!!!  The house was filled with party goers and it seemed like that whoever hosted the party had bought enough supplies to continue the party for a very long time.  The atmosphere was wonderful and everyone that had been invited was having the time of their life.  There was music and dancing with every type of drug present, a real popular joint in which the owner knew exactly what to order when he wished to throw the best party ever.  I really do not remember receiving an official invitation it was just by word of mouth I guess but all I know was that I was here and on the top floor of the house ready to party hardy until I dropped.

The information about the party spread like wildfire to those that had been invited.  It was like a mental osmosis process that seemed to envelope all of us who wished to receive the information, it came natural and we all accepted it with open minds and a deep breath.  The atmosphere within the house was electric and it was obvious that everyone was in the mood for anything to happen while they were there.  The sense of time was gone and with all of the doors to be opened and walked through it seemed like the party would last forever.  The old saying what is behind door number one had a total new meaning to all of us now and we would none of us would ever be the same again.

The lighting within the house suggested a very seductive mood for everyone not necessarily a sexual mood but a mood that would suggest staying a while and making sure that the outside world is forgotten about and that reality is thrown out the window.  I learned very quickly that I had only one person to answer to and that was myself I could do anything I wanted and go anywhere I wished as long as I stayed within the confines of the house.  Yes the house had doors that led outside but what I found interesting was that no one was even close to these doors even though they were well marked as an exit.  All of our eyes were on the inside doors and the opportunities to go through these doors was easy as approaching them and just allowing yourself to pass right through them to what laid behind them.

There were a ton of people in the house and the music was loud but not too loud to not be able to communicate with others.  Smoke filled the air but it too was not so thick that one would choke.  I remember this because those two features of parties are usually the main events that cause people to go outside while I party was happening, not in this case all activities were directed inward and it was fantastic in which I was now heavily engrossed in the atmosphere.  Even though I did not know anyone inside the house the feeling I got from others that we were all had known each other for a very long time which provided a close up and personal atmosphere which made staying even more attractive.  We were made to believe that we were all free to do what we wanted and that we could have the time of our lives while we participated.

I made my presence known in the large room that was on the top floor of the house.  I sat down on the couch with some type of drink in my hand.  I had no idea of what kind of liquid it was since there really was no advertised alcohol present within the house but I knew that whatever it was it had a profound effect on my mind and what I chose to accept as being fun.  I sat there and watched the people as they went from room to room opening and closing door after door.  Each one of them would enter in a certain state and come out in another completely different state, both states of which had changed them in some type of way.  These people did not stay inside the rooms for very long but with time being no option I guess it would seem like an eternity, or so I thought to myself.  I watched a lady enter the first room and then close the door behind her, nothing exciting occurred when she completed this and her actions actually peaked my curiosity a bit.

As I was sitting there on one of the couches, a person that I had no idea who was came up behind me and slapped me on the shoulder and then bent over and asked me what I was doing sitting there on the couch when there were so many opportunities that were in front of me.  I turned towards him and I really had no answer for him since I had not been here for a long time so I sputtered to him that I guess I was still trying to figure everything out.  He did not really understand that answer but accepted it by grabbing me by my shirt collar and pulling me up off of the couch and lightly shoving me towards one of the rooms.

Whether or not I was ready to go somewhere else, I was on my way.  I also found it kind of interesting that even though I was forced up from my position on the couch the drink that I had in my hand was still at the same level as it was when I was sitting down, not a drop spilled.  I slowly began to make my way around people towards the hallway which had its share of people in it as well but it was where the action was supposed to be I guess.  I made my way into the hallway which was not very big but it seemed like it was big enough to hold several people side by side if necessary.  The hall was not very long but this hall did contain two rooms each of which had its own door that served as an entrance to the contents of the room.

I reached the first door and stood at its entrance for a few moments before I grabbed the handle and turned the knob and then with my momentum opened the door which made be take a step into the room.  My eyes were amazed at what I witnessed.  All I saw were a bunch of people standing around and just mingling with each other.  There were no drugs being passed around and being shared with others.  No alcohol present nor were there any beds on the ground and people performing any type of sexual acts with whoever was in the room.  I closed the door behind me and most of the sounds that had been penetrating through the halls were silenced.  I actually could hear me think again.

I thought to myself, why was this room was such a big deal and why was everyone was coming out of the room in a different manner than what they entered.  I slowly swiveled my head around the room and was trying to catch someone that I knew or find something that would identify the contents of what was in the room.  I saw the girl that I saw enter the room earlier and she was just standing in a spot all by herself and basically doing nothing.  I quickly realized that this room was not for me and I turned around and the door was still there ready to be opened again, or at least I thought it was.  I walked over towards the door and grabbed the handle and turned it to open the door.  The door opened easily and I began to proceed through the doorway.  When I reached the doorway I felt a presence envelope me as a crossed the line to enter back into the hallway.  It was an unusual sensation that it was a warm encasing the penetrated my inner being, like an infusion of something inside my body.  I could tell that whatever this “substance” was it was trying to redefine my mind and how I viewed some of the basic qualities in life.

As I closed the door behind me I had once again been placed back into the soup bowl of activity with all of its commotion that went with it.  I stood at the door for a second and then tried to look at my physical body to see if anything had changed.  My physical features and body had not changed one bit but something inside me was definitely trying to change how I looked at things.  It is hard to describe but the easiest way I know is that somehow whatever was in that room had the authority, because of my choice to enter into the room, to change a portion of my beliefs on a fundamental level.  And I did not feel this sensation or change until I left that room and went back into the public hallway.

I did not stand there long since other people were rushing into the room that I had left along with those that were exiting the room as well.  I really did not know how I felt about all of this activity and especially of the exchanging of philosophy that was trying to be instilled in my inner being.  I was doing m best to fight these thoughts and feelings but the access to my inner being was hoarded up with hardly any effective resistance from me.  At that moment the only thing that I believed could help was to see what was “behind door number 2” so I walked across the hall and reached for the knob to that door.

I turned the handle and as I opened the door a few other people joined me in entering the room.  I shut the door behind me and then turned around to look at basically the same scene in this room as was in the first room, with one exception.  This room had a small window in it but no one was interested in what was occurring outside, since it was dark.  See this party was occurring at night.  I walked around the room for a bit and just looked around to see if there was anything in particular that would catch my eye but like the first room it was bare and simple just filled with other people just standing around and conversing quietly with each other.  I then walked over towards the window and took a quick look at was outside.  It wasn’t but a few moments and one person came over and tapped me on the shoulder and asked what I was doing looking towards the outside when all the interesting things were happening inside?  I did not answer him so he decided to walk away and begin another conversation with another person.

After finding out that nothing was any different in this room I made my way to the door.  No one asked me any questions they just continued their occupation of the room without any concerns.  I still could not understand what was occurring and what were these people seeing in an empty room that really had no meaning to it.  It was a mystery that I did not understand and had a feeling that this place was really not for me.  I reached for the door and opened it without any incident, that was until I crossed the threshold of the door and once again a similar sensation came over me just as before with an infusion into my inner being that I could not understand but this infusion was completing the same function and flush of my inner being as did the first one.

I shut the door behind me and as soon as I got my bearing I turned around and took a hard look at the door that I had just come out of.  I stood there and looked at it and noticed that it looked like any other ordinary door that leads into a room.  My shifted my eyes towards the first door and it too looked like a normal door so what was it that caused me to have this sensation that now is changing my inner chemical makeup and my way of thinking?  I spoke quietly to myself to make sure that I could still talk and my voice still sounded the same.

Even though I looked and sounded the same I knew that something inside me was different.  I did not like this change within me since I did not wish to be changed, but for some reason this change had the authority to complete its mission in my life.  I did not have these feelings until I came into this place and went through those two doors, but what I could not understand was what powers did those doors have over my life?  And how could I lose these new changes in my life because I did not want them and I wanted to return back to my old way of believing and thinking.

“Do you really want that?” I heard a voice ask me.  I smartly but fearfully responded “I asked didn’t I”.  Then as my eyes caught a glimpse of the person whose voice I heard he reached out his hand towards mine and motioned for me to place my hand in his.  I looked around at all of the people in the hallway and it was like they had no clue that we were there, that we were invisible to them.  But they knew we were there because as they passed us in the hall they had to get out of the way of his outstretched arm.  This was another event that I could not explain at that time but I stretched out my hand and placed it in his and we were soon off down the hall.  The direction we took surprised me since was in the direction that I would have taken if I was going to continue my tour inside the house.

By the fourth or fifth step I asked him “wouldn’t it be closer if we went out the front door which was a few feet behind?” and he quickly responded that we could not go back behind that we had to finish the present and leave when the opportunity arose.  “When would that be? I asked to which he said “in due time”, “but you have to want to leave, I cannot make you”.  “My choice, eh” I said and to this he did not respond in return.  All of this time he held my hand with an assured grip tight enough to let me know who was holding who but at the same time if I changed my mind I could release easily.

We came to the end of the hall and we were forced to make a left which we then came to a staircase that led downwards to another floor.  I really did not think that this was a good idea since the floor below would probably provide the same type of scene that this floor provided, and sure enough as soon as we reached the bottom of the stairs we turned into another hallway which looked like the one above with the walls and floor having the same lighting and carpet respectively.  My guide was not in any hurry either, he was taking his own time while walking down the hall but I did notice that his eyes were focused on the end of the hall and not was going on in the hall.  We passed many people and I even heard many doors opening and closing in front of us and behind us but we continued the journey without hesitation.  My head was turning and looking around but his was true and steadfast forward, his mission was not going to fail.

I noticed that all the while we were walking down the hall that my new friend did not say much to the other people, maybe it was because they did not ask for his help but I got the feeling that even though we were in a hurry to get out of the building he would have helped them if they had asked.  But with the determination that he had to get me out and my willingness to leave the building it seemed like I was his only priority at that moment.  We continued our walk down the hall with my head swiveling side to side as we passed many groups of people laughing, drinking and seemingly what one would think having a good time. 

But the further I spent time with my new friend I could tell that whatever authority he had to take me out of this place was far greater than what the authority was that was in this place.  The authority in this place knew that it had a right to be here and it also knew that it had no authority over the authority that this man had to take me out, in other words the authority of the house knew its limitations and that it could not override this authority, which when I realized this fact it scared me and it confused me even more but I also knew that I was not happy in this place and that whoever this person was had the power to help me to escape and I was not going to argue about it right at the moment.

As we approached the end of the hallway I noticed that there were slightly fewer people present as were at the beginning of the floor.  Another staircase faced us and down we went without stopping to look back at anything that we had just passed.  We entered into the new floor and immediately began moving down the hall.  The pattern of fewer people continued and I also noticed that there were just as many doors along the hallway but I also felt like I was increasingly non-curious about what was behind them as well.  It was like my friend was taking my attention from these doors and all that was associated with them, but how?  I asked him this question and he immediately and gently responded to me “this is not your doing, it is mine and all will be ok but we cannot slow down we must get you to the outside”.  Now I was really scared to think that this person can get me out of this place and take care of what was going on inside me at the same time.  My buddies were not going to believe this when I tell them. J

The end of the hallway came and another staircase appeared and down we went.  I asked how many of these do we have to go down and he responded with “there are a bunch of levels that we need to cross before we can leave but it will not be too much longer.”  Another floor and fewer people appeared in front of us yet there were so many doors that were lined in the walls and was I destined to enter all of them if I had chosen to stay?  That was something that I did not want to know.  As I completed that thought my friend looked at and smiled at me but did not say a word, did he know what I thought?  Who was this guy?

Another floor came to an end and when we reached the staircase to my amazement it was a short one with only a few steps.  When we reached the end of the stairs we turned and entered to what looked like a basement yet it was very small land quiet.  We were the only two people in this room.  The lighting was poor but I found myself being able to see clearly as we approached another door.  I stopped in my tracks and did not move.  It did not take him but a few seconds to turn towards me and to tell me “this was the way out and all we have to do is to go through that door.”  After what I had just experienced “I was very leery of going through another door” I told him and he replied “I understand but you must trust in me to cross that threshold together.”  He turned back around and stood beside me and waited for me to take the first step which I did and within a few steps we were at the door.

Without waiting for me to act he reached out his arm and pushed the door open without any problems.  Our stride did not break one bit as the freshness of the night air hit my face.  No weird sensations were being forced into my inner being this time and all I felt was an inner peace that began to fill my heart.  We immediately started up a small hill which was in an open field.  We did not stop walking hand in hand as we climbed the hill together.  I looked up ahead of me and there was a high fence in front of us so I did he natural thing and began to look in other directions to see if the fence was all around us, which when my eyes focused enough in each direction, it confirmed that a fence lined the entire boundary.  I stopped walking and continued my survey of the fence line but as my eyes returned to in front of me I saw an opening in the fence large enough for both of us to walk through.

I turned around and looked back down the hill and my friend turned around as well.  What I saw shocked me and it broke my heart at the same time.  At first my eyes were focused on the field that we were standing in.  It was completely surrounded by this huge fence yet there were no guards or any other protective forces to prevent anyone from leaving.  No guard dogs, guard towers or spotlights moving, complete emptiness all around.  It was hard for my brain to comprehend this sight.  I looked to the sky and it was a beautiful black night with many stars accomplishing their mission by shining as beacons of direction into the darkness.  I took another quick deep breath and let it out slowly because it was good to breathe the clean and fresh air again after inhaling that stale air inside that house.

The house; I looked down at the bottom of the hill land noticed the houses that I had been in for an unspecified time.  I was running a pattern in my mind and trying to come up with an explanation to why I allowed myself to be caught up in the idea of ever wanting to enter that place so I asked my friend that question.  He replied “it is because we all have choices that we make and no matter what that choice is you are allowed to follow your decision to its completeness.”  I then asked him about the window that was in the second room and why couldn’t I have taken that type of exit?  He stated” that the house did have windows in them to lure people out by those means but when they tried that way they would only find disappointment and actually fall back into another level of the house and that there was only one true way of escaping the house and that was with him.”

I stood there speechless until I raised my head up and I had a duh moment.  We walked up a hill so that means we were on the side of a hill, so when I looked beyond the house I saw that there were thousands of lights that were below us some hundreds of feet below.  So I asked my friend about all of those lights and he said “that each light represented another house just like the one that I was in.”  But there were hundreds of people in that house and how could they all be reached?  “You must be really busy” I said and he replied “you have no idea but still many do not choose to leave their addictions and living conditions but I have hope that many of them will have a change of heart and choose me.”

I thanked my friend for his guidance out of the house but still did not fully understand what all had transpired.  He did not say a word to me but just looked into my eyes and gave me a gentle smile as he turned and walked away though the opening of the fence.  I had no idea of what I had allowed myself to be involved with but I did know that I was truly free from that scene and I was going to be able to start over again.  I cannot explain how it happened, but I know that it is real and that it is alive within me.

DLB